used me as a alibi... i crossed my heart as you crossed the line
•
You were a hero. She was the villain. You were polite. She was ruthless. But your love for eachother was something that could never break no matter what people thought. You were from...
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i'm the love of your life until i make you mad.
My eyes shot open after that little thought spree. Murder?! Since when did I think about murdering my parents. Is this because of Jinx? I knew I should've been more cautious. I groan quietly facing the pillow on my bed. Tears form in my eyes silently and I for once let them flow. My face becomes wet with the salty tears gathering. "Why do I have to deal with this shit, I-I'm so done," I sobbed talking to myself. I've never felt so vulnerable in my life. I hear footsteps walking through the hallways, though I don't pay any mind to it as I'm too busy having a mental breakdown. I hate my parents, I hate this stupid motel, I hate Jinx, I hate everything!! After my little pity party dies down, I face back to the ceiling. Contemplating my life, I wonder if I should just go back home. Go back to the luxury but pain. Continuing living a life I'm not in control of. Going back to the place where one day I'll be arranged in a marriage. For the first time this night, I look at my phone and see the hundreds of texts my parents sent me. Have I been away for that long? Suddenly I hear a ringing that comes from my phone. I look over to see my mom's contact lightning up. The stupid thoughts take over and I decide to answer them. When the call goes through, the first thing I hear is yelling from my mom. "Y/N where are you?! If you don't come back home right this instance your punishment will be the worse it ever has!!" she rants as I cry silently. She continues her yelling spree as I listen to every word and take it in. I take in the harsh words and bare her rage. It's difficult, but I manage until finally I just hang up. Maybe I can finally let go of that hellhole. Maybe I'll finally escape. I don't know for sure what I am going to do, but for now, I know I'm not going back. The word abuse rings in my mind but I ignore it. My family may be harsh, but I would call it abuse! You're lying to yourself again— SHUT UP! I feel like a crazy person fighting with my consciousness but I can't help it. Sometimes it likes to say the most annoying things and make me think weirdly. It messes up my flawless thinking process and makes me all upset. Maybe it's hormones but at this point, I don't care all that much, all I know right now is that I'm staying at this rundown motel until I can find a better place. This place isn't the safest but it's my best bet for now. And I don't quite mind the condition even though I grew up with luxury. I rest my eyes while thinking about my whole ordeal. Maybe this wasn't the best idea, I could've just stayed home and never have gone through with this. I've hid my drinking problem from my mother for way too long and I should've known it would become transparent soon. What I didn't know what that it would show up so soon. I thought I had more time to prepare myself and get over it. It's not like it's too bad, just whenever I get a little too stressed out I enjoy drowning out my problems with alcohol. Plus I'm not the only one who does stuff like this. My father used to have a drinking problem when I was growing up. So me having one isn't that far off. Like father like daughter I guess... Though it's not crazy or anything. I was always more like my father. I enjoyed roughhousing and things that a "boy should like, not a girl" which is what my mother would always say. My parents didn't like the fact that I wasn't some pretty princess waiting for a knight to come to sweep me off my feet. I wouldn't mind that if it was Jinx though— WHAT?! Anyways ignoring that... Speaking of Jinx I do feel a little bad for running away from her like that. I hope I didn't hurt her feelings or anything but I was having a bit of a mental breakdown at the moment so it wasn't the best time to talk. I guess we all have our mistakes in life...
Even the most perfect people.
——————————————————————————— AUTHORS NOTES hello everyone i am back. if you haven't read my other book yet i'll repeat this. i am on spring break at the moment and have had a huge writers block. hopefully i'll start getting back into posting chapter regularly. ily guys <3 -M
