He is Human (EN- SunKi)

XIV

Niki

I am currently laying on Sunoo's lap as he go through his notes and so am I. He just got out of the hospital by the way and according to him, he's currently healing making me relaxed but not to the point that I won't continue my plan to be trained by him. I still want to learn how to at least defend myself so he won't have a hard time, plus, his lap is way more comfy that the pillow at this moment.

I was going through my notes when something made me sat up. Sunoo looked at me confusedly and I just signed him to stay put as I opened my cabinet and pulled out my sketchbook and my pencils.

"Don't mind me"

I positioned in front of him but I realized how my sketchbook won't be enough to capture this masterpiece so I went in and brought my canvas. I won't miss this opportunity now that he looks magical. I sometimes thought to myself that he's not human but then he's with us so that thought is out the window.

I begin to pain him starting of course from the form until I went in to the details which is very mesmerizing for me. I just hope I won't mess up those eyes of his. They're just so beautiful.

It took me a few hours to finish the details on my painting and it also helps me that Sunoo is too focused on the book I gave him to read instead of his notes. He didn't move that much as his eyes are glued to the book. I don't know if he's that focused or if he knew what I'm doing and he's just giving me the opportunity to complete my painting.

After I finished the painting, I left it there to dry before I jumped on my bed and joined him. He then brought the book down as he look down at me who used his lap again as my pillow. I smiled at him and he raised his brows only for his gaze to switch to the windows.

"It's close to night time . . . and tomorrow is a Saturday, want to go for a short walk?"

I just nodded as I look up to meet his eyes.

"You have to wake me up tho. . "

"Ok . . . we will begin the walk tomorrow and we'll work our way up"

"But I want to learn some martial arts and driving"

"I know but we must set your body first. You must get used to it first so you won't have a shock"

"But what if what happened before happens again? . . . "

"I will protect you so you don't have to worry too much and not rush"

"I . . . I don't want you to get hurt again . . I wanna help"

"You will help me soon but for today, our priority is you . . . let's set your physique first before anything else"

I don't know why he's not taking my side on this one. I only want this so he won't get hurt so badly again and so that I will also help him somehow but why isn't he on my side?

Could it be that because he is already amazing he doesn't see the need to have a helping hand? Am I some sort of a weakling to him that's why he is not taking my side now? Or is it that he's grown tired of me and he just don't want to do anything for me?

Will everyone I will get to love leave me and never see me again? Am I that hard to handle? Or am I too easy that's why people are at ease on leaving me that easy?

I didn't notice that with my thoughts, I am already crying making me hate myself more because I'm indeed a weakling and a crybaby. Those bullies are right, I am weak and useless.

Just as I am about to stand to leave, I felt Sunoo's hand holding my arm as he slowly pulled me back. He pulled me towards him making my head lay comfortably on his shoulders as he softly rub my back with his hand caressing my hair.

"What were you thinking hm?"

"Nothing"

"I can read you like an open book so no need to hide from me"

"I just want to help"

"I know . . . and I'm happy you thought about me and think about helping me. I'm happy you care about me and I'm happy you worry about me. I need help, that's true but aren't I an amazing fighter? I'm not saying I don't need your help because I would be lying . . we just need to help you. Just like your painting, you need a beautiful set of brushes and paints to create a masterpiece. Your paint is your mind and your brush is your body. Both must be in balance. If your brush is perfect but your paint is watery, the painting won't be good. If your paint is beautiful but your brushes are not good, the painting won't be beautiful. Your mind is strong and I can feel it which is amazing by the way but your body, is weak. Let us work on making your body strong to be able to match your mind. And then when the body gets stronger, you can then do what you want and in our example, you can now create a masterpiece. That's what I meant and I never and will never think that you're useless or a weakling or a crybaby. . . . Riki, don't be too insecured about your ability just because you see a single dark spot"

"What about the canvas? If the paint is the mind and the brush is the body, what about the canvas?"

"That's your heart. . . I didn't mention it because you already have a pure heart, as white as a canvas. Because if your heart is stained with evil, no paint and brush can hide it. But for you, your heart is already good there's one flaw tho . ."

"Eh?"

"That pure heart is covered . . you need to open it to show the world. At the same time to let the love enter. You've been too closed up that it is hard to get through you . . you need to open up. . . if you do that, you will then see the beauty of your world. . ."

I just stayed there like that, my head on his shoulders and his hands around me. I felt like a baby.

Maybe because of being closed too much when I'm growing up, I got so insecured when someone attached to me is leaving me because I felt like I'm not good enough. I didn't realize I also need to adjust for us to be in balance. It is unfair for them to always give me love and I don't reciprocate because they will get tired. I also must show that I appreciate them and show them I cared for them.

I must return the favor.

The world doesn't owe me anything.

I lost my mom before but I still have my dad and a mom and sister who are willing to love me and now, Sunoo.

I won't allow for my being closed up to loose them too. 

"I feel terrible now"

"That's a sign that you're starting to learn from your mistakes. That's a good start . .now will you accept the offer and walk with me tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah .  .  "

I hugged him tighter before I let go and went to the painting I did a while ago.

"O my goodness, I look magical"

He squealed when he take in the painting I did of him.

"I just painted what I saw"

"So I look magical to you?"

"Y- yeah . . I mean don't feel weird but . . . - - - you're always looking magical. Enchanting even. Makes me wonder of you're human"

A light blush decorated his cheek making him look so adorable at the moment that I will forget he's fighting like a warrior not long ago.

"Is that a confession? . . because I don't mind you liking me in the future"

"R- really? .  . "

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This is a short chapter because I'm feeling sick and my mind is nor functioning properly. I apologize and I hope you enjoyed this.

Have a good life and don't be sick because being sick sucks. I mean, ugh it is annoying.