Bliss [Chuuya x Reader]

Breather

this book needs to end dude 

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[Y/N]'s POV

"I need help." I blurted out, stupidly.

I heard Mori quickly get up from his chair and walk over to my office.

"What's wrong?" He asked, worried.

I definitely had not thought this through. My plan was to indirectly tell him I wasn't interested in love.

But.. how?

Mori had been up my ass for about a week now. It had been bothering me a lot how involved he was in my life. How much control he had and how hard he was trying to get me to fall for him. Chuuya and I were slowly starting to climb out of this awful hill of misery and I knew this situation was just going to put a halt to that. Again.

My mind raced quickly. What do I even tell him?

"This... it's too much for me," I sighed. I couldn't handle this non-sense anymore. "I'm exhausted and swamped with so much. I don't enjoy coming here at all."

I could feel the atmosphere slowly turn into an anxious one.

"What do you mean [Y/N]?" Mori swallowed. He became concerned.

"I feel this position isn't working out for me. I think it's time I resi-"

"No, don't say that. You are doing well. We can find other solutions to this. I'm sure of it. What exactly is keeping you from being happy here? Am I giving you too much paperwork? Is your office space not enough for you to keep up with things? We can arrange for whatever you need..." Mori seemed to drift into his thoughts before he perked up again.

"Do you feel like you need help? You know I use to have a conjoined desk actually with-" I cut Mori off before he could speak even more nonsense that would leave me in another nasty situation. 

"No. That's okay. I mean that I don't feel that I was actually chosen to be here just because of my work abilities." I breathed. "I understand you like me Mori- but I cannot do this. Controlling when you get to see me, talk to me, when and where I eat- plus the insane scheduling you have set me up for- it's all too much. I don't have a personal life anymore. This sudden change in position has ruined that for me... I have no happiness to look forward to, I don't even get to see... my brother anymore."  My heart sank as I thought of Chuuya. 

Mori stayed quiet but kept eye contact with me. I sighed and looked away. 

"I should have reiterated this sooner but I have no interest in being with you. Especially after what has happened in the past couple of weeks. I respected you and actually enjoyed you as a boss before... all of this." 

The silence filled the rest of the room as soon as I stopped speaking. I didn't know what to do anymore. But it was clear being honest and direct was the only way. I looked at Mori, only to see his face calm but red. 

My heart started racing. I needed to say something now that was going to make it easier to digest the information. I couldn't read exactly how he was feeling, but all I did know was the emotions weren't a pleasant one. It was time to tell him the truth.

"I honestly - don't know how to tell you this" I paused, "Before I had the chance to tell you.. uh.." My mouth began to dry up and distracted me from continuing on about Chuuya, "you admitted your feelings and well, it was extraordinarily hard to navigate that without feeling like I was going to make you feel bad in some way." 

I grabbed some water from my desk and took a swift sip before forcing the rest of the words out of my mouth. "Chuuya and I are together. We have been for awhile now." I said boldly, looking him the eyes. 

His face told me everything I needed to know in regards to how he was feeling with the new information he had learned. 

"You should have mentioned that sooner. I apologize." He sighed. 

"It was my idea to keep the relationship hidden at first because I felt it would be easier to tell you I wasn't interested in any kind of relationship, but it seems I was wrong. No where in my heart was there the intention of stringing you along or making you feel any negative way about it. I hope you can understand the position that I am in and where I am coming from with that in mind." Guilt began to settle in as I realized he truly seemed to be a bit sad. 

It was clear he wasn't trying to show any emotion but the red in his cheeks and the lack of confidence in his posture or attitude let me know more than what he would have ever possibly communicated with me. I got up and gave him a hug out of pity. He was just an old man. 

"I am so sorry. You feel like a father figure to me more than anything else. You are wise and dependable. You have many strong and great attributes that I admire and very much wish to possess one day." I let go of him and he smiled at me, his cheeks having some sort of tremor. 

He was trying not to cry. Mori held my cheeks for a second, his eyes wandering and taking note of every inch of my face; as if he was reliving a memory. After a minute he let go and left my office. I stayed for a few minutes before going out to see if he was at his desk, only to find out that he had left entirely. 

I wasn't sure what was going to come out of this, but with the way he reacted my heart felt a lot lighter in feeling it wasn't any of the worst case scenarios that both Chuuya or Dazai were preparing me for.

- 

 ayo?