Bliss [Chuuya x Reader]

Relief

[Y/N]

"Oh my darling [Y/N], I cannot wait to see you in your blood and glory! I've long awaited this day!"

"[Y/N], It's been awhile. How has the Mafia treated you? Have you been praying to repent for your sins?"

"You know, Mark has been much more of a little shit when the Mafia took you away. That boy has never thought about anyone other than himself and you. Wait till he finds out your back."

"Are you ready to make use for yourself? Become the genocide machine you were born to be?"

I screamed as I shot up from the bed I was in.

I screamed so hard, within seconds my throat was already hurting. Tears began streaming down my face. Flashbacks of the memories that I recently had started flooding my mind.

The genocide that I committed.

I was on my hands and knees, clenching the sheets beneath me. The tears wouldn't stop but rather increase.

What have I done?

Innocent people. At least thousands of them, dead.

Because of me.

My ears were ringing heavily as horrifying mental images came to my mind. My head was throbbing in pain. I didn't know what to do with myself, I didn't know why I was alive.

What was my purpose in the world? What was the purpose of my power? Why of all people did I have to have that ability?

I shouldn't be here and I shouldn't be alive. This is the biggest sin of all that I've committed.

And there is absolutely nothing at this point that can save me from it.

"[Y/N]!"

It took me a few minutes to realize Dazai was here, trying to get me to calm down.

"What's wrong?!" He asked, panicking.

Dazai was grasping at my wrist, tugging at it. I slowly stopped my mental break down and sat on my knees. Dazai sat close to me on the side of the bed. I stayed quiet for a few moments before looking directly at Dazai.

"Why haven't I died yet?" I asked.

I was lost at this point. I wasn't sure what to do with myself other than die. Dazai looked at me in slight confusion.

"You were injured pretty horribly. But Morí was able to fix-"

"No. Why... Why have I not been punished for my wrongdoings?" I asked, my voice was uncontrollably wavering.

Dazai furrowed his eyebrows.

"You aren't going to pay for The Guilds wrongdoings because they abused you and your ability for their personal and unlawful gain. You are not responsible for this."

I looked at him in terror. Anger slowly began to rise as I put my hands on his shoulders and put my face close to his.

"This isn't my fault?" I seethed, "I am the one who killed all those people! That was my ability that did it, my ability, not theirs or no one else's! What the hell do you mean it's not my fault?! There is no one to blame but me! The Guild didn't kill innocent lives, I did!" I yelled.

It was the first time I ever raised my voice with such anger at Dazai. My tears were welling up again as I pushed him back and let my head fall into my hands.