Badly Written Cliche Fanfiction 2 (Parody)

London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines

PATRICKS POV

"So guys, this is my house," I grinned happily. Despite my earlier hatred, Brendon and Gerard were really nice, and along with Joe and Andy, we got on like a house on fire.

"Cool, I love your house!" Grinned Gerard. If me and him weren't now bffs, I would have thought he was being sarcastic.

*thirthy minutes later*

"So, if you were a murderer but no one knew it, but you didn't want them to find out, where would you hide?" I asked, poised at my laptop.

"A secret lair?" Said Joe.
"Underground?" Said Gerard.
"France?" Said Andy. "I have no idea."

Brendon sipped his glass of milk. "I seem to remember overhearing him saying something to Mrs Jardine the same day Pete died," he said casually.

"What?"

"I think he said," frowned Brendon. "He was going to take time off and relax at home with his fiancé,"

"We could check at his house," added Joe. "Even if he's not there there migh be clues,"

I sighed in frustration. "Yeah awesome plan dudes, apart from a tiny detail," I said sarcastically.

"I can't see any flaw?" Questioned andy.

"WE DONT KNOW WHERE HE FLIPPING LIVES!!!!!" I screamed. "WELL NEVER CATCH HIM WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST END IT ALL OR EMIGRATE TO THAILAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I hated my life.

"You can buy his address online," murmured Gerard.

I stopped wailing. "Wtf that's creepy."

"That's how those creepy stalker girls found his house," Gee added. "We can easily find it."

Soon, we found out Mr Gaskarth's address was:
69 Cinderblock Gardens
Nicesurburbanareaville
Baltimore
Maryland.
And it only cost us $12.

"All the way in Baltimore!" Cried Andy. "How will we get the money to travel there?"

"We could always form a band and play shows," suggested Joe.

"Great idea!" I Exclaimed. "That will get us loaded!" We all knew the only reason ppl form bands is to get loads of wonga.

"Awesome!" Said Gerard, eager to get loads of wonga.

"K then I'm gunna go home now!" Said Joe cheerfully. "Andy, wanna stay over?"

"Sure," Andy squeaked, and they left.

ANDYS POV
*one hour later*

We were playing Mario cart in joes room, when he suddenly turned to me. I was already overwhelmed by the prospect of staying over at my crushes house, so when he turned to talk to me, my heart almost stopped beating.

"Aaaaaannnnnnnnndddddddyyyyyyyy........." Joe said slowly. "Have you ever thought about getting a boyfriend?"

Omg. Omg. Omg. Was this what I thought it was? I was so shocked I didn't even question how he knew I was gay.

"Ummmmmm mm, yes, no, kind of, whaddya want me to say? I stuttered.

"Specifically a Jewish one with long dark brown hair and awesome guitar skills," he added smirking.

O. M. ACTUAL. FRIKING. G.

"Who's name is Joseph Trohman,"

My fragile little heart almost exploded.

"I'm considering it," I whispered. "But I have a very packed schedule and lots of homework and-" I was interrupted by Joes lips crashing into mine. Omigosh fan girl moment. I had only met this guy today, but I knew he was my soulmate, I thought as we romantically made out to the Mario cart techno music.

PATRICKS POV

Me, Brendon and Gerard were lying on my sofa watching Dr Who.

"I can't believe Amy and Rory are stuck in the past now," sniffled Gerard.

"Ikr," agreed Brendon as tears ran down his face. "Fuq dem weeping angels."

But I was only half watching. My attention was being constantly diverted to Brendon sprawled next to me. The soft chocolate brown of his hair. The brightness of his brown(?) eyes. The milky white of his flawless complexion. The bright cherry red of his soft lips. The white shine of his pointy canines. The sculpted curve of his ears.

Was I falling in love with my former bully?