4. Trent Phoebe{ManxMan}

•CHAPTER 14

Today was a particularly difficult day. Mostly because somehow I was flooded with feelings I didn't need and these feelings and memories only triggered a stiff agitation from me.

Kalika was staring at me after demanding that I hold her. "Your eyes pretty." It softened me because the girl wasn't particularly nice most of the time and often preferred Travis.

"Thank you, yours too." She grinned and nodded. Her comment allowed me to ignore my brother who had asked me a question, or rather asked me of something I still didn't wanna do.

I looked over to him and stared at my brother's impeccable blue eyes and clenched my teeth.

"Just talk to me, please." They were shining and he stepped closer, reaching for me until his finger wrapped around my wrist and I looked away from his urging stare, his thumb rubbed the inside of my wrist.

"It won't change anything." Finally I murmured looking back at him, my own eyes burning and his tears over flowed. "What's done is done." I stepped back at Kalika was still in my arms and she was just smiling at me. "Telling you won't take me back," I shook my head. "It also won't give me much hope."

"Trent..." Kathryn whimpered stepping closer but I turned from them, heading for the door and going out into the bright day.

I wanted to be alone. Most of all, I needed to be out of the room, suffocating me with their sorrow and worry for me. Non of it was needed, non of it would change anything. I put Kalika down then and she pat my hand before skipping off.

Digging my hands into my jeans I found myself walking. Pack children were playing outside, a few mom's and dad's watching and talking like they were on vacation. Everyone was so relaxed, so happy and worry free and I just felt empty.

The walk from the pack house to the nearest road was a good thirty minutes and soon I paused looking in both directions before chosing the one heading into the nearest town. My head was clouded and heavy yet so silent.

I didn't have much thought, there was no point.

My mind played with my heart, sending me the smiles on his face, the pure laughter as I told him off. Images of what had never even been plagued me, the dreaded what if. I saw us walking along a beach, happy and along, hanging over a balcony, watching the sunset and making love over and over. I blamed being surrounded by mated couples but really, it was because I knew how they felt, I understood to a certain extent.

Within two hours, cars honking, people yelling, laughing and talking registered to my mind and I looked away from the ground. Humans and wolves alike went about their days and I walked without much of a destination.

It was ironic how I spent a few months in a place with just humans and now I was back to it and it almost felt strange. Almost.

It felt nice though, being outside, hearing all the sounds of town and non of the nagging whispered concern of the pack house and my brother's and sisters.

I paused when a faint scent caught my attention and I bit my lip. My mind was far too cruel, the faint scent of cinnamon and oak with a hint of lemon lingered so faintly I couldn't even tell the direction, this was enough to tell my aching hammering heart it was a trick of the mind, a product of my memories in that town, a town that was mostly likely a tourist hub now.

There was a local library which I stared at. People walked past me while I looked up. The pack house had a library we called Arson after a dear friend, it was huge and had information on just everything. I smiled at the memory of my youth as though I were an old man and not a 22 year old. The memory was of my hiding to play video games. I shook my head and focused on the present, crossing the street, I decided to enter and my world changed.