Saathi Rey

|"The Fear Of Change!"|

"Hawaon ka kya rukh hai ye aaj,

Dishaein badal-si rahi hai,Jaise band pade humare dil meinDhadkan jag-si rahi hai.."

-Author

**************

"Kise Poochun,
Hai Aisa Kyun
Bezubaan Sa,

Ye Jahaan Hai

Lt. Doctor Monami Mahajan rarely got surprised these days.

Her army-doctor training had forged her into a woman with a will of steel, one who knew how to keep complete control over her emotions. Suppressing her real feelings, and hiding behind a cool mask of icy indifference, she had managed to pave her way forward through the past so many years, without fumbling even once, often making her a subject of many people's envy. 

Nevertheless, her impeccability was admired by the whole unit, so much so, that sometimes she would herself be unable to discern where the 'so-called perfect Monami' began and the 'broken-messed up Monu' ended.

Many times, when she would sit in her pajamas, dressed up for bed, a pen poised in her hand, ready to strike down all her thoughts in the journal which lay on her lap, she would stumble, confused by the sincerity of her feelings, her thoughts. 

"Do I really deserve to call myself 'sad' and depressed? Treating the sick, the injured, is a duty of kindness, of compassion, heck, it's God's service, and that is what I have done the whole day? Then why do I still feel that something heavy rests in my chest, an unfamiliar, uneasy feeling which makes me question the genuineness of my emotions, hmm? Am I really happy? Is this all false, somehow, or the truth? Heck, I can't even explain in words what courses through my veins right now, diary!" She would write, with little blotches and spots on the page, as she would stop to think herself through, to sort her jumbled-up thoughts.

"Maybe, I am just making a mountain of a mole-hill. Hush, stop thinking, Monu! Don't give names to such things, so easily! Ha, depression! I-I have not faced anything so severe that my soul would become depressed, have I, now? I am just over-thinking, as usual, huh!" Her mind would finally murmur in her ear, and exhausted and feeling full of self-hate, she would lie down on her covers, a hand covering her eyes to shield her from the harsh burning light of her life.

Khushi Ke Pal,
Kahan Dhoondhoon
Benishan Sa,
Waqt Bhi Yahan Hai

Anyways, back to the present, today was just another normal day for her, as she continued to categorize the various patients' files, which were strewn haphazardly on her table, into neat little stacks.

"Umm, Jai Hind, mam! Are you Lt. Doctor Monami Mahajan? I am nurse Shilpa! Doctor Rao asked me to approach you! Actually, this patient here needs immediate treatment!" A timid but firm voice fell into her ears, and on cue, she lifted her head, to come face to face, with a petite woman of about twenty supporting an injured young soldier on her side.

"Doctor Rao, you say? Ah, yes, he asked me to look into one of his patients, I remember now! Come on, come on, quick! Don't waste any more time! Make sure the young man is seated-" She ushered them in, even though she did not recall any such words from the said doctor, only to stop mid-way, when the vibrant ringtone of her phone resonated within the room.

With a sheepish smile, she excused herself, going on to grab the little device from her desk, as she hoped against hope that it was not another emergency that had come into play.