i was out on the balcony sitting on the swing chair and just zoning the fuck out. i have my hands in my black hoodie pockets and my hood on. i was honestly just thinking all the shit that has happened in the past and what's happening in the present.
it was sunset hour and the cool breeze hitting my face every so now and then. i felt nothing. i was just kinda there to be honest. i didn't feel any emotion, even if i wanted too my body and mind wouldn't let me.
a few minutes went by and i heard the sliding door to the balcony open. i didn't even look cause i knew who it was and if it was someone else i wouldn't care. he sat next to me, understanding how i felt since i told him earlier.
he just put his arm around me and i laid my head on his shoulder enjoying his presence. he rubbed my shoulder with his thumb gently, making me shiver slightly. we didn't talk, we were just there but in a comfortable silence.
"the walls will come down eventually" colby said breaking the silence. i didn't bother to look up so i just hummed a response, "the wall that's blocking all your good feelings. it wont just break down immediately but it will take time, tomorrow even." colby said genuinely.
i just nodded in response since i didn't have the energy to talk back or hum a response and colby completely understood. it was starting to get darker by the minute but i never wanted to leave, i didn't know about colby but he seemed to kinda feel the same way i guess?
"all though i love it out here and love spending time with you, we gotta start heading back inside." he chuckled the slightest bit. i surprised myself knowing that i smiled even the slightest bit.
after a few minutes of colby trying to convince me to go back inside, i eventually gave in. after i got inside, i took a nice warm shower, not my hair, just my body. i hummed in delight as the warm water was hitting my body.
after the shower...
i dried my body well and put my pj's and did the rest of my nightly routine. i was just wearing something simple but hella comfortable, brown tank top with gray sweats i got at a thrift store. i walked out of the hot bathroom and made my way to my and colby's bed.
the lights were already dimmed and i saw colby getting under the covers. i crawled to my side and got under the cover as well. i felt the bed shift and a head on my chest, i looked down and smiled lowly as i played with his dark brown hair.
"you'll get through this, i promise." colby said tiredly, i smiled a little bigger hearing him say that. i leant down to kiss his head which i felt him smile against my chest.
"i love you." i said quietly but loud enough for colby to hear. i felt him smile again but this time he picked his head up and kissed my lips softly. he pulled away slowly causing it to make a sound, "i love you more than words." he said quietly but lovingly.
i smiled once more and blushed at his cuteness. he put his head back on my chest and started to doze off. it was kinda hard for me to just keep my eyes closed but i succeeded.
hopefully tomorrow is better :) .
