⚠️TW: if you have gone through this, then this imagine is not for you.⚠️
i was waiting to get a phone call..the phone call. the call that would make my heart shatter into a million pieces, the call that would make my whole world stop, the call..that'll make me broken for as long as i live.
everyday i wake up with pure anxiety. pure anticipation. it could happen at any moment, but am i ready for it? i have my phone on me non stop and checking it every second. i just want this to be over with. the waiting, the anxiety, the anticipation is killing me from the inside out.
February 20th, 2:37am.
i couldn't sleep. i was mentally and physically drained. under my eyes were so purple, looked like bruises. my eyes, puffy and swollen, from crying...no, more like sobbing. my mind was all over the place, like puzzles pieces scattered all over a floor.
i was in bed laying straight on my back. colby sleeping peacefully next to me whilst turned away from me. he knew i was suppose to get the call and how damaging i am waiting. he's there for me day and night and i couldn't be more thankful to have found someone like him.
he's always there and he never leaves. always reassuring, always giving me the attention i need, and always there to listen and understand. he doesn't even need to talk, his company is all i need.
while thinking of what colby has done for me, i noticed myself smiling to myself. i haven't smiled in a minute so this is a really big accomplishment. i smiled more because i was smiling. i turned my head to colby, who's now facing towards me and just looked at him.
i smiled more knowing that i will always have him in my life. my smile faded quicker than flash as i heard my phone going off. i whipped my head towards the night stand my phone was on and picked up immediately.
"hello?!" i said in a low panicked voice so i wouldn't wake colby up. the woman sighed "she took her last breath." my mouth fell open to a gap and my eyes filling with tears almost immediately. "o-ok, th-thank y-you." i stammered out.
i hung up the phone and dropped my phone on the bed and just started sobbing. apparently i sobbed loud enough for colby to wake up. he looked around the room and then his gaze when straight to me.
he knew what had happened immediately and sprung up to my side and hugged me tight. i was too weak to hug him back and he understood that. i cried on his broad shoulder loud. i didn't care, neither did he. he knew how bad i would grieve when i heard those 5 words roam my ears.
colby started rocking both of us back and forth soothingly and rubbed my back softly to try and calm me down. i finally was strong enough to wrap my arms around him.
he noticed i wasn't breathing right so he whispered "breathe with me. you can do it." i picked my head off of his shoulders quite slowly and looked up at him. since the room was too dark, colby turned to the night light, that was pretty bright, and turned it on quickly before turning back to me.
he put his hands on my shoulders and started to rub them soothingly with his thumb and doing breathing exercises with me. it seemed to be working because my breathing was started slowing down.
"one more. good job baby." colby said with a slight smile. my breath was still shaky but i could breathe much better because of him.
"th-ank y-y-you." i stammered in a whisper since my voice was still weak. "of course" he said also in a whisper. colby grabbed my hips gently and brought me down so i would be laying on his chest. my tears would not stop falling and i'm pretty sure i had made a puddle on his chest.
colby just kept rubbing my back and kissing my head occasionally whilst i was still trying to calm myself down from the events that had happened just a few minutes ago.
once i was fully calmed down, which trust me it took like 20 minutes, colby had gotten up to get me some water. he came back into the room and handed me the glass cup, i had sat up and started gulping it down.
once i was done, colby took it out of my hand and put it on his night stand next to him. he laid down and i wasn't hesitant laying my head on his warm chest and cuddled up to him. it was hard for me to fall asleep but i succeeded.
i miss you so much mom..
hey! woah ok, i have not posted in almost a month, so sorry about that! but i did also just wanted to say that this was only an imagine, my mother's fine! she's snoring on the recliner downstairs, she's vibing😭. anyway! i will try harder to post more :). love ya'll <33
