.Chapter 10.

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song: Cardigan by Taylor swift

the next day it was like august was trying to avoid the world she left the house early, she drove herself which was a real surprise to the whole cailleach family when they saw her car was gone, she didn't even see Allison, Scott or stiles she just...

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the next day it was like august was trying to avoid the world she left the house early, she drove herself which was a real surprise to the whole cailleach family when they saw her car was gone, she didn't even see Allison, Scott or stiles she just felt she couldn't look any of them in the eye and tell them she was fine. 

she didn't understand how stiles was doing it, how he was fine, how he seemed so prepared. but she envied Scott majorly, she wondered if it was her and Allison not Scott and stiles would Allison do the same stiles did for Scott? would Allison try protect her at all costs? yes stiles and Scott had a couple years on them, they'd known each other since kindergarten, Allison and august only met this year but they both knew it felt like a decade.

she had a ton of questions though that was one thing for sure she knew, so she did what she did best and researched her ass off printing out tones of research about lycanthropy all answering huge questions but the ones she was most interested in was how the hell is it even possible?!

no website book anything would tell her how it was possible, not went against everything ever declared by science it was like a huge experiment gone wrong and they abandoned it discarding its possibility but here was Scott proving it and apparently Derek Hale too.

it did make her wonder though, if werewolf are possible what else could be out there? vampires, witches, ghosts, sirens, mermaids, centaurs? is all that real too, she wanted to find out but she all ready had a huge pile of werewolf history and facts piled up on her desk next to her laptop, not that she realised it until she looked to her side but as soon as she saw the pile she knew she had to hide it and as soon as possible to she also realised she's gonna have to change her passwords for her laptop phone and iPad because if may or June logged don and saw all of this they'll start questioning her.

but to be honest she was questioning herself, how could it be real for all she knows they were lying it could all be a joke on her after all she never saw Scott or a werewolf and if Derek was a werewolf why wasn't he all wolfed up on the full moon she was pretty sure everyone would have noticed if Allison was getting in a car with a wolf man!

and thats when it hit her, she couldn't even talk to Allison or ask her about Derek because she wasn't allowed to tell her about any of it which made her regret even going with stiles to Scotts house because now the only people she can talk to about all this crazy was stiles and Scott.

just at the thought of all of it was making her feel like she was dying because this was all crazy right? nope this was her new reality and it was terrifying, she hadn't stopped crying since she got back home either and not going to lie but she definitely didn't go the whole school day without crying in the bathroom at least once.

but for now avoiding them all and hiding away sounded pretty good to her, she had done a good job so far at being invisible surely she can re join the whole outcast thing again, right?

if she could she would of not gone in today but then the school would alert her parents and thats just a conversation she really didn't want to have. could you blame her? how is someone suppose to explain to someone there world is turning upside down because she just found out werewolves exist without actually telling them about werewolves or concerning them.

she hated concerning people or just making them thinking about how she's doing, she liked being a people pleaser even when sometimes it probably wasn't the best idea to do so. she just always believed that she should make sure everyone else is okay before she even thought about how she was doing herself.

this was no healthy way to go about dealing with any emotion that wasn't stemmed from the happiness side of the emotion scale. it lead her to bottle up and lead her down deep roots of paining thoughts, she didn't really have anyway to show or even express them even to herself, her home was always so happy so there wasn't much of a role model on how to deal with more negative emotions while they were growing up.

she did realise rather quickly not everyone always has constant happy household as soon as she started school, it was fair to think that they were just crazy for screaming and crying when she was younger but now she understands why some-people do that but she could never do that she would feel way to much like a burden.

but now more than ever she had to keep this all bottled up she had to be strong, she couldn't have her sister or her parents or Allison getting suspicious of her but the only way shes gonna be able to do that is to act normal and that means school and actually being around Allison and her family having actual conversations while keeping a huge secret from them all.

"tomorrow has to be normal, no hiding no crying just normal old august." august said quietly looking straight up to her ceiling from where she laid in bed.

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