Sisters By Blood

Chapter 1 - Drowning in Silence [Noemi]

The news of Mom's death falls onto the breakfast table, I always thought her name on a letter would be her reaching out towards me and Tamara; but this wasn't the case. I raise my finger to my mouth before anxiously chewing on my nail, the cliche letter said unfolded in my other hand as I read it over and over again. "Sorry for your loss." Yeah, what loss. My mother had been out of my life before I could even walk, and the only interaction I've had with her was this letter from whom I assumed was her husband. Him knowing where to send it always confirmed one thing, she had always known where we were and what we were up to.

I wasn't sure what to feel, I was halfway through cooking breakfast for Tamara when I had looked at the mail I had flung on the table previously. Mixed with white bills the crimson red letter with the golden seal stood out amongst the crowd of bills and advertisements. The toaster summons me as it spits out two pieces of perfectly golden brown bread before I shuffle it onto a plate alongside the cooked eggs. I hadn't seen Tamara since last night when I wished her goodnight, she was still typing away at her laptop. Always wished I could have updated the crummy laptop we had found, it had peeling stickers from her youth that she had tried to scratch off.

My mind was absent focused on the letter, I could have found Tamara and my Mom if I had truly looked, it just never crossed my mind to attempt something that would only end in misery for me. I had assumed the role of guardian of Tamara since I had been 18, getting a job as a resort and even working overtime just to put her through college; I gave up my life for her, and would happily do it again.

The sound of Tamara's door opening caught my attention and without thinking I rushed over to the letter tucking it in my back pocket; I am not sure why I hid it from her. Of course, I should tell her. It should have been the first words that I spoke to her, Mom died, two small words, but I don't say it. I stand there pouring Tamara's orange juice in to her glass and setting it down beside the plate of egg bacon and toast. It wasn't much of a breakfast but it was all we had left, I was going to go grocery shopping after work.

"Morning," Tamara speaks pulling my attention to the nest of hair that rested against her head, a yawn escaped her mouth as she waddled towards her seat. She slumped down with a pink robe wrapped around her body, she poked the eggs around with her fork before looking at me. Tamara was a pretty woman, she definitely got the looks and looked like she regularly took baths in the fountain of youth. Her skin was smooth and her eyes filled with a wonder I had not been so graciously able to keep in my life, but that's why I did all I could for her. Gave her the life I wasn't blessed to have. Maybe that's why I didn't tell her, I was worried about how she'd take it.

"Morning," I reply solemnly assessing her face, she didn't know yet, how would she. I wouldn't be able to keep it from her long if at all, my hands slowly reach for the letter tucked away in my back pocket. The time to tell her has truly passed but I still feel the urge to tell her mother has passed away, she needs to know it's not something that should be hidden. "We need to talk about something," I say slyly taking the letter from my back pocket and falling into the seat across from her. Maybe I should give her one last day before I drop the bombshell on her but my words have already left my mouth.

"Mara it's mom," I explained taking a harsh breath in before I continue speaking, I place the letter before her and look at her in the eyes. "She's passed away." I start seeing the blood drain from her face; her hands clench around her fork, the only sign that she had noticed I had said anything. She swallows hard and drops the fork onto her plate, the same thought had crossed my mind but I felt I wasn't right to keep it from her. Await for a few minutes as I see her read through the letter, I felt I had given up on my mother a long time ago; but Tamara held hope for the woman to come back.

"Mom?" She questions finally opening her eyes and making eye contact with me. Her eyes water up and a tear rolls down her cheek. She doesn't begin to sob or cry, just a single tear that ran down her face. She looked at me with a look of seriousness washed over her face, "We're going." Tamara orders. I knew she would want to go to the funeral and though It wasn't something I'd feel too comfortable doing, I'd do it for her. I'm a fan of closure so we should know why her mother left her, no matter how hard it is. In an attempt to avoid my hesitation I begin to rush through breakfast before dumping the plates into the sink.

"I've got to get to work, but I can call out if you need me to be here." I walk towards my keys hanging on the small silver hook by the door. Work always hated when people called out unexpectedly, but if they complained I had the bombshell of reasoning. Not many people in my life knew about my mother, not that I kept it a secret I just didn't want the look of sympathy they deem acceptable.
"No-no. I've got class anyway," Tamara dismisses me with a wave, I hate having to leave her but any time things derail she throws herself into studying and school. Distracting herself with the mundane was always our way of dealing with anything.
"Alright," I say rushing for the door certainly going to be late, I normally skip breakfast and grab a coffee and bagel on the way to work but today I gave Tamara as much time as I could. Closing the door to our apartment behind me I rest my head against the door, and softly close my eyes allowing my emotions to break the surface. No tears fell for our mother, I wasn't sad she was gone but my tear fell from the light that died in Tamara's eyes.

I walked through to the car park feeling nothing but pain, the weight of the letter holding me down and my mind rested with Tamara. Slumping into my car I do the daily ritual of tossing the old coffee cup and paper bag from yesterday morning into the trash can, before pulling away. I was late to work but no one noticed, during the school period our resort was mostly quiet just a few elderly couples here and there. If I was lucky I could sneak away and enjoy one of the delicious lunches, that was the only upside to this horrible job; the food.

I'm looking at my watch for the third time as I shuffle through my work schedule and I think maybe it's time for me to find something new, the money was always good and I could use the extra cash but the responsibility of the job was starting to wear me down. At least I could keep doing a few different errands here and there. My fingers dance across the keyboard as I bring up the location of the funeral. It was fancy, something only the rich and powerful could afford to be buried in. I closed the tab before resting my head in my hands brushing my hair backwards and looked at the time one last time. The funeral was tomorrow and I had to prepare for it.

Grocery shopping was going to have to wait.