Sisters By Blood

Chapter 3 - Transparent Soul [Tamara]

Exhaustion had taken over my body as I felt my head sinking between the crusty old pillow that I've had ever since I escaped from my dorms thanks to Noemi's help. I stayed with my back laid against the bed feeling one of the broken springs digging into my back as it dug in to the bottom of my spine. I had become used to not having the finest things in life with my outdated laptop and the wifi that barely worked, and clothes that only came from thrift shops with labels that were torn out so people could never tell they were knock offs. My room was painted in a dark purple colour which had remained the same since we moved into the place, I was hesitant to take the room as it left Noemi on the sofa.

I knew today was the day of the funeral and a part of me was dreading that, going meant giving up on my mother. I never admit it. I never cared to talk about her with Noemi because it just made her upset and mad at a woman we never knew but I had hoped there was a reason she gave us up. I had dreams of a woman showing up and begging for me to let her into the life I had built for me with the help of Noemi. Now that wasn't the case at all. She was just going to be a woman that was laying in a coffin and moments later dirt would be thrown onto her body leaving her in the ground.

Grasping I sat upwards turning my head towards the stack of books that were on my nightstand beside my bed, sitting atop of it on the crystal white paper was the letter. I've read it a thousand times over since it was sent. It hadn't changed. The words scrolled across the paper saying the same things they did yesterday, and I don't know why I thought if I read it it would change. I reached for it my fingers holding against the paper as it was made of glass so as not to ruin the paper. My eyes ran down the page but before I could get to the bottom of the letter a single knock on the door caught my attention. I quickly tucked the paper under my pillow and looked towards the door.

"Come in," I welcomed Noemi, I didn't even need to ask who it was but she always knocked politely before barging in; only a few times has she done that in worry. "You look... Stunning." I complimented my sister as she walked into my room, she had been up for hours by the look of it as she was wearing her complete outfit for the day holding a bag of fast-food breakfast and a coffee in the other.

"I hadn't got a chance to go shopping so I sprung for some take out for you," Noemi said before sitting at the end of my bed hanging me the food, it wasn't long before I was ravaging through it like a raccoon getting into the dumpster. "Once you finish that I picked out your outfit and ironed it for you. Sadly we haven't got long before we have to leave." Noemi spoke as I already had my mouth stuffed with a breakfast wrap.

"Thank you." Maybe it was because of the realisation that Noemi was truly all I had in life or it was just because I was thinking about how much I owed her for all she did for me, but I sprung out of my bed and flung my arms over her pulling her into a hug. I felt her arms wrap around my body pulling me into a hug, she never rejected my affections even if she rarely initiated it. She said I love you in her own ways, and she didn't need to say it. She proved it every time.

"It's what family does." Noemi's words were as cold as a blizzard that nipped at the skin, her breaking the hug to speak to me. I know her words weren't to attack me but the corpse that was now our mother, unlike me, Noemi's emotions towards our birth giver were more anger than anything. I was never sure if she was angrier for giving us both up or just giving me up, but she never liked speaking about her. "Don't be too long," Noemi patted my leg before she got up and left the room.

I quickly finished my breakfast before getting up from my bed and walking to the bathroom, it wasn't the cleanest place in the world and more of the black mould danced along the ceiling. I headed into the shower not really caring how grimy the stall was, and then immediately turned on the water. It was cold enough to get goosebumps. As I stood under the freezing water I still couldn't help but think about my past life, it was still fresh enough in my head that it hurt every time. How much easier it would have been for me if I had parents, if they wanted me and how Noemi could have had her own life.

My sister is my family now. She was my everything and just as I got comfortable in the warm water I heard the door creak open and an outfit placed on the door hanger. It was a dark black outfit, fitting for a funeral with the tag from the thrift shop still hung on the outfit. Noemi must have brought it on the way back from work for me. I ran my finger along with the fine fabric it felt like it belong to a movie star. It had also been brought down with a black belt, and some black boots that ended with a small heel.

Drying off I wrapped my hair up as I brushed my teeth, I stared into the mirror doing my make up as I smiled at the ground. Even though I felt a sudden surge of sadness for my birth giver, I was also glad that I had an ending to her story to help me through this. Like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, even though I would never let anyone know how much I was grieving over this death.

After getting dressed I looked at the clock as I grabbed my bag and headed into the front room as I stared at Noemi.

"I knew it would suit you," Noemi spoke looking up from her morning coffee, she must have either cleared up breakfast or skipped it completely.
"Thank you for the outfit," I said as I took a seat on the sofa and set my bag on the table, causing Noemi to close the papers she was reading. "I haven't had a funeral before, how do I act?" I asked Noemi as if she had some insight.
"I don't fucking know," Noemi responded smiling over herself as she set down the paper beside her and got up, I assumed she was back looking for another job, it was the only reason she cared for the paper.

We headed down to the car and drove off to the location the funeral was going to take place, my eyes fixed on the radio turning the dial until a sombre song came on fitting the mood. I cranked up the volume and sang along to the sad lyrics. It was nice to be doing something, doing something normal after everything that had happened. We pulled up to thick black gates before a man stopped us.

"Noemi and Tamara Savona," Noemi gave our names as the gates magically opened before us as we drove our car down to the lot, we got out and instantly I began to feel out of place. Black cars sparkled in the parking lot with our crummy grey car parked away, hidden away from the world.

I wasn't ready for the day ahead neither was Noemi, she grabbed my hand and lead me to the seats. We took the furthest back seats we could and slumped down in our seats, Noemi folded her arms and I slouched slightly as we waited.

I was feeling weird being here...