God's Demise

10: "I'm So Sorry."

 About four hours later, they sat around a small camp they had found near the now emptied warzone. The fire roared a blazing orange and red heat, warming the group nearby. There were few sleeping, only those who hadn't lost loved ones that night. Fundy sat on the dirt, head laying on his mother's lap, sad eyes focused intensely on the flames as they danced, as not to cry. Sally's eyes focused sadly on the stars above, one hand playing with Fundy's hair while the other sat limp at her side.

Wilbur sat on the other side of the fire, his mind swimming in the sea of sadness. Phil was sat beside Sally on the wooden log, wings tucked close to him as he stared venomously at the dirt covered ground.

Tubbo sat on a log between the biological family, eyes unmoving from the ashes that surrounded the burning flames. He'd come over to visit the youngest of the family, only to be dragged into this mess once they had gotten back home. Tommy sat across from him, still in denial, his mind swimming in hatred for the world as his hands were folded in his lap, fingernails digging into his skin to keep himself from crying again. He had Techno's bold red, blood crusted cape around his shoulders- he refused to let it go.

While usually Tommy would be stoked to have fought in a battle like that, and uncovering a sick ass power such as the geokinesis he seemed to have from his father (somehow), under these circumstances he only felt anger. If he hadn't have jumped out to prove himself to Technoblade, maybe Techno could have saved Wilbur and everyone survived.

Not even his mother could make him feel better after this.

He thought back to hearing Techno's voice when he was about to viciously murder George, and wished he hadn't imagined it.

"Theseus, calm down." it had said.

If only Techno was the one saying it to him again, and not his mind this time.

Another rush of hot tears ran a race down his face, stinging against the cold air. He didn't save his uncle.

"You couldn't do anything." Sally said quietly, her eyes focused on Tommy.

"I could have." the blonde child protested. "If I hadn't snuck along then Tech- he- would still be alive!"

Saying his name hurt more than it should.

"You wanted to help." Sally continued, reaching a gentile hand towards the boy, who only pulled back- Sally understood, and didn't take it to heart.

"If I wasn't so stubborn- if I listened for once-" Tommy paused, thinking for a moment back to the comment Dream made about Wilbur compared to himself.

"I bet you would have wanted to bring Tommy as an offering; Wilbur was always the more behaved one."

"Dream was right." Tommy stated, eyebrows furrowed as he looked like he was ready to tear apart the earth piece by piece. "Dream was fucking right. You should have traded me, look where it got you!"

He was screaming at Techno. Screaming to him from the side of the living, hoping beyond his grave the man could hear him.

"Look where it fucking... got you." he cried, his head hanging lower than he would have thought possible, eyes squinted shut as his tears became a waterfall.

"He would never have given you up to Dream." Wilbur stated, looking at Tommy though his glasses. "I would have never let him. Even if he did, I would have killed him myself."

"He should have!" Tommy hissed, standing from his seat and clenching his fists which were now at his side. "He wouldn't be dead if he did!"

"But you might be!" Wilbur stood too, eyes digging deep into Tommy's.

"It would have been better that way!"

"You don't mean that!"

"Yes I fucking do!"

"No you don't."

"Yes I do!"

"Enough." Phil's stern voice cut in, himself now standing too. "It is what it is, and I can't deal with you boys arguing right now. Tom, Wilbur, you both lost someone you grew up with- but so did I."

"Neither of you are to blame." Phil continued, but it felt forced, and Wilbur knew he would place blame on Tommy. "Technoblade made his own decision not to bring Tom, he didn't tell me that was an option- which again was his own decision."

"We can't change what he did." Fundy broke in, it was the first time he'd talked since learning about what had happened.

"Dad, you're a fucking God! There must be something you can do!" Tommy begged, looking his father in the eye for the first time since everything had happened.

"I would do something if I could!" Phil hissed, his eyes sharp and tone sharper. "Techno is dead, he's fucking dead- because..." he paused, seeming to think before he spoke. "because you fucking decided to be a big boy, and show your stupid ass up to a fight he told you to stay out of." it was barely a whisper, barely audible at all, yet the words were clear as glass to Tommy's ears.

-

The casket was a plain dark oak, the God's iconic hog mask set on top. Phil was too broken for it to be an open casket funeral, so the mask was the closest they got.

Tommy didn't want to be here, he didn't want to see the casket allegedly keeping his uncles body safe from the world. He didn't want to believe that this was really happening.

They all wore black clothes, Phil's wings accenting again as a dark robe. The only pop of colour aside from Techno's mask and the funeral decorations was the bold crimson red cape Tommy had held tightly onto as he sat in one of the many pews, the fabric buttoned around his neck. He swore, he could still smell Techno in the fabric, despite the cloth having been washed of blood a few nights prior.

Tommy had spent a lot of time in his uncles room since the incident, as he liked to call it. Even being near the small, blank, and pretty much empty room reminded Tommy of him- it felt like he was with Technoblade every time.

As the priest started the normal hooha of normal funerals, Tommy felt himself zone out. He thought mostly of Techno- he seemed to be doing this a lot. All the fond times he'd had with him, and how he should have known deep down that this would have been how Techno wanted things. Technoblade dead, rather than Tommy or Wilbur.

But it still hurt to lose him in such a way. Tommy knew that healing would be hard, but he had to get through it- Techno would have wanted it this way. 

The funeral ended, Tommy pretty much blinked and it was over. He was stuck in his mind, lost in his thoughts as they had went on with the service. He felt Wilbur rest a gentile hand on his shoulder, and looked up only to receive a nod.

"They're burying him." the brunette said softly.

Tommy stood to follow his brother out, but was pulled into a hug.

"I'm so sorry."