No Strings Attached | ✓ 18+

nine .ೃ࿐

"She cheated on you?" 

"God, Clay, keep your voice down!" I hushed him, glancing around in alarm to make sure nobody heard us in case they recognized who we were talking about. 

Yes, I still wanted to defend Gina and her business even though we were split. Sue me. 

Thankfully, today the restaurant was less busy than usual. There were small groups of people, no more than four, randomly scattered around us, chatting and laughing. It was easy to say that we'd blended in really well. 

Once we'd sat down, Clay didn't hesitate to bombard me with questions about why I was feeling down. I appreciated the blooming friendship, though I was nervous that this would backfire on me as well. But I suppose I should deal with one thing at a time. 

"So, she's been saying she has all these company things, but really she's been leaving to cheat on you?"

I made eye contact with him, his brows were set into a deep frown and his nose was crinkled. His hair was messy, as if he'd been running his fingers through it in confusion and distress. Glad to see we're on the same page. 

Although I kind of agreed with what he said against my will, I robotically jumped in to defend Gina; "Yeah, but I'm sure that she did actually have a busy company schedule for the most part. She just...slipped I guess."

I reached for my drink and took a sip. I can't remember if I'd even had a cup of water this morning before leaving the hotel. 

"I don't think someone's vagina magically slips against someone else's." Clay scoffed boldly. "Even more so, accidentally slipping until a climax? I don't think so."

I choked. Holy shit. "Jesus, Clay! You have to lower your voice."

Clay shook his head and picked up a wedge from the basket of wedges that he ordered as soon as we arrived, claiming that jalapeno wedges and ranch was the best cure to a bad day. 

"I'm sorry. I'm just saying, it's a bit much. She seems like a cunt. Why would someone cheat on you?" The last word had emphasis and it made my face flush against my will.

"Look, it doesn't matter anymore," I glanced toward the window and back at him again, but I didn't meet his eyes.

It was embarrassing, to say at the least to admit that you'd been cheated on. Was I really not good enough for her? To think, we'd been together and we were living together, sleeping in the same bed and yet she still didn't feel satisfied enough. 

"Let's talk about something else, yeah love?" Clay shot me an award winning grin, his teeth pearly white and glimmering with the lighting from the restaurant. "Wedge?"

I leaned forward eagerly and swiped it from him. "Thanks."

[ ♡ ]

"Well, this is it." I stopped in front of my hotel room and offered him a sad smile. 

"Room three hundred and seven. Sounds exotic." Clay gladly accepted my half-attempt at a smile. 

It was well past five o'clock and it ended up being not terrible going out to eat. Clay made sure that I'd eaten well, stating that when people experience distress in any way they tend to neglect eating and end up feeling worse. 

I will admit, he's right, but he didn't have to be so kind to me. He barely knew me. And I was an emotional disaster right now. 

"It's nothing special, I promise." I laughed nervously. 

Clay stood there and I could felt him observing me as I scrambled for my room key. I wondered if he was contemplating murdering me. I wouldn't have to be in this situation anymore if he did...it's a win in my books. 

I unlocked the door and made my way inside. Clay and I met eyes awkwardly. 

"Thank you for today, it was nice." I offered him a smile, but I didn't invite him inside. 

He looked very shy standing there all of a sudden. His hair was still messily scattered and his cheeks were rosy and puffed out. He looked like a child, bashful and a little scared as they waited for anything to come next. 

We met eyes again, it was a weird feeling that went around the room, or perhaps the hallway and hotel room? Or I just ate too many spicy wedges. I leaned forward for a fist bump, but he opened his arms. Then we did vice versa. Then an awkward chuckle, finally we settled on a fist bump.

"Cool." He nodded at me.

"Cool." I repeated, grinning as he walked away. 

When I finally closed the door, I turned around and my mood had fallen completely from the high it was moments ago. 

It was like he was the one that shed the light on the situation and now he's gone and out of my reach. Now, I was left alone with my thoughts...and all of my cell phone notifications. 

My phone felt heavy against me, like it held so much but so little at the same time. I wonder how many times Gina tried to get ahold of me, if she even did at all. Maybe she climbed into bed, our bed, with her mistress as soon as I'd left. 

My brain clouded with more and more thoughts and I felt heavy. My chest felt tight and my breathing was slightly delayed. It was the horrible reality of my panic attack setting in, as I fell to the floor in the middle of the hotel room on my knees. 

I felt less and less capable of breathing as my crying set in, I felt overwhelmed and unable to think straight. 

You're the problem. She left you but felt too sorry for you to say anything. It's all your fault. If you'd have just done better altogether, she wouldn't have wanted to be with anyone else. 

I had to practically drag myself off of the floor and get into bed. I didn't even get to turn the lights off. My vision was blurry and my eyes were swollen. They would be even worse in the morning.

My chest was progressively getting tighter, making it more difficult to breathe properly. My hands were clammy and I could feel my heart pounding. The room felt small and stuffy, I just wanted these blankets around me to keep me safe. 

When I closed my eyes to think, it was Gina that I could see, her perfect face with her pretty smile and eyes that were like honey. I can't help but think of her arms around me, supposed to be keeping me safe instead of ripping my heart out of my chest. 

My eyes stayed closed for a little while, I finally found a calming rhythm to keep me sane. 

But it wasn't Gina's arms that were holding me imaginarily when I finally drifted off to sleep. Subconsciously, I knew they were Clay's.