Permanent Roommates

Chapter 58

"Thankyou for coming!" Mira greeted Shehnaaz and pulled out a chair for her to sit. She had asked if they could meet at a café nearby.

"What will you have?" she asked, gesturing to the waiter to come over. The girls ordered some coffee and talked around and about their daily routine.

"Jaise jaise date paas aa rahi hai, tension badhte ja raha hai. That's why I called you for help." Mira mentioned.

"Batao kya karna hai?" Shehnaaz replied.

"Ek party organize karvani hai, bachelorette actually. Vardhan ke liye." Mira said.

"Sirf Vardhan ke liye? Shehnaaz asked.

"Yeah. I'm not a clubbing kind, it's uncomfortable for me to survive crowds actually. Meri wajah se toh Vardhan got into this idea of destination wedding with close friends and family. Toh maine socha, uske liye itna toh kar hi sakti hu." Mira sheepishly smiled.

"Sure. That'd be probably the coolest thing any fiancé would have done!" Shehnaaz chuckled.

"Probably! I would have done it myself, if I had some time. Thank you!" Mira replied.

"Tum ek jagah book kardo. Payment ke liye, bas ek message kar dena mujhe. Aur please Sidharth ko mat batana, vo apne dost ko bata dega." Mira requested.

"Please? Come on Mira!" Shehnaaz said, smiling.

The mention of Sidharth got her into thinking, how it had been a couple of days and they weren't even talking properly. They would talk, regarding work in the office and act as if everything was fine until Sidharth would wrap up his work and leave, without her. The sarcastic banter he had pulled on back then never happened again, she was tagged by him as a flipper since then though. 

"Baad me baat kare. Abhi office me hai hum?" Sidharth irritatedly said.

"Kab karenge baat phir? Tere paas time hai?! Kab ka mana rahi hu, sorry bol rahi hu. Sunna hi nahi hai tujhe." she replied.

"Kyuki baat manane ki nahi hai. Khud pehle clear ho jao tum chahti kya ho! Aaj chahiye kal nahi, aise nahi chalta Shehnaaz!" he said and that was it. 

She returned to her place, standing at the corner of the living room and staring at the furniture a couple had occupied to watch shows randomly, it was him and her. Sidharth and Shehnaaz. Slowly, the couple faded away from the couch and appeared in the kitchen the next moment. She was preparing breakfast for two, while he stood next to her with a plate in his hand, they were talking about how desi ghee can add taste and absolutely negligible calories to the food. As the couple faded away again, they appeared again at the doorstep of his bedroom, kissing, giggling and laughing altogether.

Her apartment used to a happy place, the one filled with giggles and stupid talks, but what happened then? Why did she ruin all of it herself? Why did she want the love, care and affection but not the relationship at the same time?

Probably because she was an empath and a philanderer damaged her ability to trust anyone ever again. Amrinder had sown those seeds. She had been lied to, cheated on, gaslighted and all the other antics that a typical predatory narcissist could heap on to her. Henceforth, her ability to trust was shaken. If not love, she had trusted that person deeply. She believed him when he told her that he liked her and was committed to her. She could compare the experience to being bitten by a poisonous snake, she would recover but would definitely watch where she stepped next in the future.

With time she did put it all in perspective, where there were no feelings for the person in the past but she couldn't trust her present completely either. A lot of people are so caught up in the seriousness of their lives that they don't take a moment to enjoy the wonderful things that life has to offer. But unless she was willing to take the plunge, again possibly, she would never get to know the wonders of love with him. With Sidharth.