sometimes when i start writing these paragraphs my brain forgets what I have to say. it rips the idea away before I can put them down on paper like it didn't want me to make it real. thoughts are just thoughts and I have learned to not alway belive my thoughts because not all of them are sensible, but when you write those thoughts down it become real. tangible. you can tear it to shreads or delete the whole thing because it is real. I don't think my brain likes to belive the truth. it wants to see the good in everyone and everything it wants to be alright all the time but I know it isn't real. I can feel it trying to pull a cover on my boiling pot of thoughts as I type this paragraph, pushing and pushing when I don't want it to. how do you control the thing that controls you? sometimes when I start writing this paragraphs my brain doesn't let me say what I want to say. sometimes it doesn't let me see the truth.
