Dude, I Kissed Your Mom! (DISCONTINUED)

1. 💋

"Hey Abigael, did you gain weight? 'Cause those jeans make your ass look fatter than Nicki Minaj's,"

That statement ushered in a wave of laughter that rippled through the sea of students in my calculus class. The aforementioned girl pulls the hem of her grey knitted sweater down her torso in an attempt to hide her exaggeratingly rounded butt to no avail , which seemed to fuel the laughter of the ruthless crowd. With flared cheeks and a sharp glare, Abigael sags down to her seat before burying her face inside her math book.

"Gosh, you are such an ass hole ," Not everyone was flattered by my idea of a joke. Hazel's glare pierced me like cupid's arrow as she reprimanded me for that insensitive comment aimed at Abigael's humongous butt.

" What, her butt is gigantic," Another storm of laughter tore through the class like a tornado which abruptly subsided once the classroom doors burst open. The smirk that had decorated my face slowly dissipated as my gaze followed the graceful aura of Mrs. Dawson as she sauntered inside. The clicking of her stilettos against the marbled floors echoed through the quietened atmosphere that held its breath in anticipation of the knowledge of today's calculus lesson. The neutral expression that adorned her face was the perfect giveaway that portrayed her no nonsense attitude. With her books plopped down on the desk in front , she grabbed the whiteboard marker , uncupped the lid and turned her back toward us as she wrote on the board Quadratic Equations .

I don't hesitate to lower my gaze down her frame as I silently appreciated the shape of her derriere against her pant suit which triggered a devious smile on my youthful face.

" Okay," Mrs. Dawson faced us , setting the whiteboard marker on her desk. "everybody turn to page seventy-four." The sound of pages shuffling through infiltrated the graveyard silence that had impregnated the room. A cough is heard from a distance. The screeching of a chair against the floor follows before Mrs. Dawson clears her throat reeling back our attention to her.

" Today we are going to look at Quadratic Equations so if anyone has any questions feel free to raise your hand anytime," An idea flashed across the embers of my mind. " I'll be more than willing to help."

Her stare swept across the room and I darted glances around picking up an air of complete lack of interest that had hijacked every students' faces. No one dared to raise their hands albeit the fact that calculus was a boring subject. Without rational thinking , I bit the bullet and raised my hand .

" Yes, Maxwell," Her attention was on me. " you have a question?"

Heads turned to face me as I shared a smug look around before clearing my throat to make my voice sound all deep like James Bond's.

" Are you free this evening 'cause I'd love to take you out to dinner,"

As expected , a chorus of hoots and snickers rippled through the classroom seemingly triggered by my daring and bold question. Leaning back on my seat I watched as Mrs. Dawson conjured a wistful smile , folding her arms across her chest as she addressed me with her infamous critical stare. Soon the noise would simmer down to hushed whispers as the air  thickened with expected tension with me sharing a rather intense staring contest with the vivacious woman.

" Is that all you had to ask?" She inquired , her eyes shifting to a darkened look.

" Well I mean I'd like to discuss about what kind of room service you'd prefer but I best leave that discussion for when we are alone ," Another hooting and hollering erupted mixed with pleasant surprises and shocks from my fellow classmates as I punctuated that question with a sly wink.

It was known around school that I was one of those class clowns, no lesson was ever boring when I was present. I knew how to liven the mood with shock factor, I wasn't scared to bring my intrusive thoughts out in the open. I'd been sent to the principal's office countless times because of it. But that didn't seem to quench my thirst for attention. This was my disease and seeing how unimpressed Mrs. Dawson was I couldn't resist the smirk that stretched across my face.