Dude, I Kissed Your Mom! (DISCONTINUED)

21. 💋

" Vagina or Dick?"

That was today's topic of heated discussion amongst our friend group. You'd think we'd have better things to discuss, you know, stuff like Global warming and its causes or how we could stop it, or Increased inflation rate and how it's affected our economy,or high costs of living or how Joe Biden is slowly ruining America but after an hour of weed smoking, our brains fried, we chose to discuss the reproductive systems; because why not?

Which is the better one? Why is it better than the other one and all that nonsense.

The back building was like our little oasis, cloistering us from the good kids. We were the school's degenerate gang and mixing the good fruits with the rotten ones guaranteed a possible epidemic of decaying students. So we separated ourselves from the good harvest, sprawled out in the grass behind the back building, Tyson rolled up a joint and passed it around while Emerald chugged down the alcohol she snuck to school this morning.

After ten puffs of that magic smoke, I was floating in a cloud of ecstacy, my pores breathing with euphoria as a languorous feeling hijacked my senses.

" Dick obviously," Zac scoffed, prying the joint from Jackie's trembling fingers before drawing it to his chapped lips for a puff. I watch as he held the smoke into his lungs in a deep inhale, eyes pinched shut before puffing it out through his nostrils like a dragon breathing fire.

" That's the only correct answer, " He elaborated.

" Why is that?" Emerald asked, a frown swallowing her previous languid smirk.

" Why would I want to have a vagina? I mean, that thing bleeds every month.... totally not my scene!"

" Exactly!" I agreed. " It's all fun and games until blood clots start oozing out of it. At least my dick doesn't do that ."

" Right, 'cause having boners in the morning is so refining!" Em sarcastically remarked, rolling her eyes at me before pulling the flask of alcohol to her lips for a swig.

" Boners are pleasurable, unlike period pain, so once again, men are winners," Tyson preaches, causing the male species in our group to applaud his remarkable statement, much to the ladies' annoyance.

" You're right, men are wieners !" Jackie intoned with a laughter filled voice, bringing Emerald to a hearty laugh. Not that it was that funny, pardon once again for being a bit misogynistic but women aren't funny. Maybe it's the weed smoke getting to me. Well, Jackie has said some decent jokes over the past couple years but this was not it.

" Well technically, women are winners seeing as we house one of the most complex human organs in the entire body, plus we have a higher pain tolerance as opposed to you ballerinas," Jackie chimes in, throwing a smirk at Tyson's way. He scoffs, securing the blunt between his thin colorless lips.

" You're laughing right now but once those PMS symptoms start to sink up , you'll be begging for me to buy you some chocolates to soothe the pain," Tyson winked at her . She sneered back, the proceeded to hold her hand out for him to place the joint into it.

Tyson obliged.

" And some pain killers," Zac added. Then faced Emerald; " do you still chug down those cocktail of really strong painkillers to soothe your menstrual cramps?"

" Why do you want to know?" A retort from her , arms folded across her chest.

" Just... reasons,"

" Yes, I do," She replied, annoyance dancing in her voice. " Any more stupid questions from you?"

" Calm down, Em, it was just a harmless joke!"

" So women's issues are meant to be taken as 'harmless jokes' from insipid men like you?" Ah jeez. Once Emerald adopts that feminist tone of hers, there's no turning back. Reminded me of that one time Tyson said some 'insensitive chauvinistic' comment about women, that earned us almost three hours of heavy lecture on women's rights etcetera. I swear I wanted to shove scissors into my ears !