The only reason // Ashton Irwin

Chapter 26

ASHTON'S POV

After dinner I helped Autumn to the bus. Finding out she was temporarily paralyzed really set her in a big funk. I feel bad for her, not knowing when she will walk. "Come on let's watch a movie." Calum said and filed through out movie selection. I lifted Autumn out of her wheelchair and into my lap, I held her close. She laid her head on my chest, I moved my hand down her leg and felt wet pieces of her jeans. I whispered in her ear, "What did you do?" She shook her head against my body and I knew what she had done. I stood up with her and walked her to the back lounge, "Be right back." I said to the boys.

I set Autumn on the couch and slid her pants down. My eyes stung as I saw the scarlet lines across her legs. "What why?" I asked almost in tears. She didn't say anything she just looked down at her pale legs. "Why!?" I said and got in her face. "I don't know anymore! Ash, I can't do this. I can't feel my legs, I have gotten into a car accident, I have given you hell, and I just can't do this anymore!" She said and pulled out an old pocket knife. She opened it and held it close to her neck. "No, please don't do this to yourself! I love you and I will help you. Please don't do this!" I begged. He face never changed, she still had the knife by her neck. "Please," I said again and this time let the tears fall, "I can't lose you!" I begged. She tensed and held it closer. "No! Please don't do this! I love you, please! I know you have gone through a lot, I get that, but please I will help you! Don't kill yourself and leave me alone!" I begged. She held her breath and said, "I can't do this anymore, I am sorry." She closed her eyes. "No, please. Don't do this, don't be like me and hurt yourself! I love you so much, please don't be like me!" She slowly moved the knife down and began to cry. I took the knife, closed it, threw it across the room, and wrapped my arms around her. She sobbed into my shoulder as I stroked her back. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." she sobbed. She leaned back and I fixed her pants and sat next to her. I held her close again, "Shhhh, I know. I have you now, we will find things out. I promise. I won't ever let you go." She sobbed more and as we sat there. "I'm so sorry, I am so sorry." she repeated and held me close. "I know, I know." I said into her shoulder. I pulled her onto my lap and stroked her hair.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

My shirt was soaked from her's and my tears. "Is everything alright?" Luke asked when he stepped back. "Yeah." I said not mentioning that Autumn tried to kill herself. "Ok, we decided on Gardens of the Galaxy. Is that ok?"

"Yeah."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Ok." he said and walked out. I kissed Autumn's head and brushed a piece of hair from her red face. "Do you want to watch the movie, or stay here?" I asked. She nodded her head. "Which one?"

"Movie." she mumbled. I stood up and walked back into the main lounge. The previews were just starting when we found a spot on the couch. "What did you guys talk about?" Michael asked. "Nothing." I said. His face chased into a grin. "No! Yuck Michael!" Autumn yelled and laid her head on my shoulder, like my brother and sister did when they were scared back home. I held her close and continued to rub her back. Noel rested her head on Autumn's legs. I felt Autumn heave and then start to cry. "I love you, I know it's hard, I promise you will be okay." I whispered in her ear. She nodded and whipped a tear away.

About halfway through the movie we ended up back in the back room. "Ashton I am so sorry." Autumn kept repeating as I helped her change into her pajamas. I picked out her Wonder Woman fluffy pants and her Big Bang Theory "Soft Kitty." shirt she put her shirt on and I helped her pull her pants up. "I know, I know." I said as I brushed a piece of her hair away from her face and kissed her cheek. She put her head on my shoulder and let out a little sigh, "I am so sorry." she said again. I gave her a little kiss on the cheek and we sat there. "Do you want to want to watch Star Trek?" I asked and stroked her hair. She shrugged and said, "Brothers?"

"Whatever you want?"

"Then Brothers." she smiled and I stood up and turned on the tv. She was on that episode when I turned it on. The opening title was in full swing and Autumn was saying right along with it,"Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the star ship Enterprise. Its continuing mission to explore strange new worlds, and boldly go where no one else will go." I laughed at her cuteness and how much it made her face light up when the show came on.

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