When apricots will forget - FINISHED -

In the garden

I don't regret any of the things I've been accused of, but I wish that the person I love most in the world had never betrayed me. It is now impossible for me to distinguish love from the most ferocious hatred.

He had gone back, again, and again. He often told himself that it was the last time. Ezik felt increasingly uneasy when he would tell his wife that he was going to "walk the dog". Lately he had been leaving his phone in the car, afraid that someone would see his strange excursions in his history. He reassured himself that he had no memory of doing anything wrong. I can't blame myself for something I don't remember! And yet that didn't stop him from going back voluntarily, listening to Kirke tell him about their forgotten moments.

In all those weeks he had never seen the stranger he had seen on his second visit. He had once asked Kirke if she was expecting her too, but she had evaded the question. Perhaps they didn't get along.

He never stayed behind the gate for long. Kirke kept reminding him of the long hours they spent together. He sensed that beyond the powers of the garden, something was wrong. Kirke's story seemed unbelievable and it was impossible to know how long she had been trapped in this place. While he understood Kirke's distress at the thought of going through the portal, he couldn't imagine a mother preferring to hold on to her memories rather than go out and find her child. There had to be another reason for that. But every time his mind got close to what was wrong, he was suddenly absorbed and had to go into the garden, because that was often when Kirke would tell him that he had just come out. What was really going on once he got inside?

Still confined to his parked car, Curry's head bobbing impatiently between the two front seats, he had made his decision. He had even taken special care to dress presentably for the occasion. He knew Kirke didn't like to talk about her past, but he couldn't continue to see her imprisoned in the middle of those tall trees. He wasn't doing it for him, but for her.

When he arrived at the gate, the smile of the beautiful woman who was waiting for him gave him courage. Before even greeting her, he said:

"Kirke, I want you out of the garden."

A sly smile crept across the young woman's face and immediately turned into pursed lips. She took two steps back and did not answer. Ezik continued the statement he had mentally rehearsed.

"I will help you. I will tell you the memories of your daughter and your life here. Even if you forget me, you will get to know me again. Trust me!"

"Ezik, I don't know if I can get out. I've tried so many times before."

Kirke stepped back and her foot hit a root, knocking her slightly off balance. She doesn't have the strength, Ezik thought. She'll never go alone. Yet her loneliness weighed on her. She had admitted it several times. What she wanted was not to leave this place, but to be outside already. The young man calmed down and put his hands on the wood of the gate. In a soft voice he added:

"This time it's different. I am here to accompany you, I will hold your hand."

She looked at him, her eyes seeming to analyse the situation. She stared at the portal and Ezik's hands on it, consciously adjusting her breathing.

"Okay. Yes, you're right, I have to be strong," she finally replied as she slowly moved closer. "Ezik, can I ask you a favour?"

"Of course," he answered quickly.

"Would you mind going into the garden while I come out?"

Ezik was surprised by the request. He thought that by standing outside, ready to greet him, it would motivate Kirke more to join him. Perhaps that wasn't what she was expecting.

"Would it help if you knew I was with you?"

"Yes," she murmured. Ezik saw in her eyes that she was waiting and dreading his answer.

"Very well, he said calmly, then I'll go into the garden so you can come out."

Without realizing it, both young people held their breath. Ezik pushed the gate open. It opened with a low creak that surprised Ezik. He cautiously stepped inside the garden. The tall grass was in the way and he didn't know where to put his feet. He had hoped to know instinctively where to walk, but no residual memory seemed to exist in him. Curry followed him inside and hopped around the shed. Ezik reached out to Kirke who was approaching the exit. Her face was different from the one he knew and he felt like he was seeing her smile for the first time.

Their hands touched and Ezik was disturbed by the contact. He felt no familiarity with this body. Kirke's hand was cold and her grip much stronger than he could have imagined. The young woman cautiously put one foot outside the garden. The moment it touched the grass, she turned back to Ezik.

"Thank you."

She quickly let go of his hand and walked completely out of the garden, closing the gate as a matter of habit.

"Kirke?"

"You'll run into Aradia one day, it's been a long time since she came to see me. I imagine she'll tell you her side of the story, I don't care. Just tell her that despite our disagreements, I hope she is happy and will not seek confrontation again."

Ezik became confused. Kirke seemed to be delirious, perhaps her brain couldn't function without the many years of memories she had given up. And yet she remembered Aradia, he thought.

The young woman was no longer looking at him. Her eyes stared at the forest from which Ezik came every time he came to see her. Without even turning back to the young man, she began to walk.

"Kirke? Kirke, wait!"

Ezik rushed to the exit and opened the portal. As he tried to run through it, he was suddenly pushed backwards and fell to the ground, still inside the garden. His left forearm hit one of the apricot tree roots near the ground and he felt a violent pain run through his body.

Panicking, he got up quickly and approached the exit with his good arm forward. His hand stopped on an invisible wall separating him from the outside. He ran his hand along the side of the fence. As he had experienced before from the outside, it was impossible for him to get over it.

"KIRKE!"

While screaming, Ezik ran around the garden, without finding a single crack in the invisible barrier. He tried to dig the earth under the gate, but was also blocked. He tried to throw himself back towards the exit, harder, but without success. Desperate, Ezik climbed the trees and threw himself over the fence, only to find himself thrown back among the roots. His stress was passed on to Curry and the dog ran around barking, bothering Ezik as he tried to find a way out. The young man could hardly see Kirke as he walked away. After several dozen minutes, out of breath and desperate, he stopped.

Ezik was covered in dirt, his clothes were torn in several places, his face and hands were slashed. His cheek was bleeding and his whole body was sore. The adrenaline had run out and as he sat helplessly on the ground, Curry came to him and laid his head on his master's lap. Ezik's anger and frustration had turned to intense fatigue. Staring into space, unable to think of anything else, Ezik lay motionless for endless minutes as night began to fall.