why me ?

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by aespire

by aespire

Is she happy ? Ofcourse she is ..
Now she is pretty ,more pretty than before . Her skin is glowing ,chicks got pink tint , her body is praised and mainly her smile ... Her smile can kill thousands of people..

She woke up again
From dream.. yeah another dreame ,where people praise her, they told her how pretty she is ,how beautiful,how elegant ,her beauty is mermerising and she is the cutest one...

She sigh and stood up from bed stand in front of him the one who never shame to tell her truth ..
She looks and find out that NO she is not pretty neither she is in past nor in gonna future ..
The difference between these two year is

Now she is not happy

She saw real people

She got rejected

No one praise he for her childish act

She know fact that she is fat

Got bullied hundred of times

But she is fine. Yeah she use this phrase many time wait almost everytime when someone ask her ,cause she is fine ,is she?

No , she is not ,she know people don't like her , ana(aneroxia) tell her ,ana tell her that people don't like fatty person she has to be elegant more beautiful

Not now atleast not from now ,
She is tired she tried daily ,she even skip meals too and she know he noticed it but what answer she gonna give him she knows nothing

She know he saw her yesterday after lunch break rushing towards washroom again to throw up

Alas! it's tiring why only she have to think all of it..
Why she not get praised ,not even from her parents
She remembers her mother saying her"why are you like this, please eat less and from tomorrow wake up early and take atleast one hour walk..I don't want xx aunty to say bad about you"

Why? Why her mother remember about that aunty's opinion but not her own daughters condition..
Her father is same too
She remembers how he praised her friend for getting 91%but forgot his own daughter also hav 85% too
Why she have too only prove in her studies when she not good in it.
She told her parents that she wanna be music composer , wanna make her own music ..
She secretaly take classes on internet to surprise them
At first they praise her but when they got know that she is serious
they say no to her ,she should be study well and have good job ''MUSIC CAN BE PASSION NOT CARRIER" those are last word she listen before running away from there

Now she is in front of her window looking at sky asking God that why he been that cruel to her ? What bad she done to everyone? Why she?

Hoseok is on his way to his bedroom when he listen message tune..he take phone from his pocket and unlock , oh he found his previous search on google about anorexia and depression , he open message box and see message from her

#
I am sorry hoseok ,I can't make it forgot me like you have bad dreame

....your friend..
#

Why she do this to him he trying to save her but look ,look
look at him he failed...

SHE IS GONE TO GOD....

Disorder: anorexia,self hate
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Soon madness has worn you down. It's easier to do what it says than argue. In this way, it takes over your mind. You no longer know where it ends and you begin. You believe anything it says. You do what it tells you, no matter how extreme or absurd. If it says you're worthless, you agree. You plead for it to stop. You promise to behave. You are on your knees before it, and it laughs.

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Please say something to me know that am worth it?