guilt complex

129 5 2

by caffeineinducedbeing

by caffeineinducedbeing

A/N- context: on a mission gone wrong, Will is tortured for information. After Halt rescues him, there's a lot of healing that they both realized they need to undergo.

enjoy <3

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The noises of the fire were soothing, the pops and crackles filled the awful deafening silence.

Will heard light footsteps crunch on the leaves, and turned, grimacing slightly in pain, toward the approaching figure.

Halt wordlessly dropped the firewood he was collecting to the ground, then walked toward the grazing horses to grab something from his saddlebag.

Walking back toward Will, he made a gesture to his torso,

"Should probably re-apply some salve, and re-bandage. It's been a few hours."

Will nodded, then started to lift his shirt, revealing the bloodstained bandages covering his entire torso and abdomen. Halt couldn't help but grimace at the obvious pain his former apprentice was currently in.

He removed the bandages as carefully as he could, trying to cause as little pain as possible for the young man. He cleaned the many cuts and gashes, whip marks, and burns. He pursed his lips, hating himself whenever Will flinched, or groaned in pain.

"Listen, Will"

"Don't. Halt, it's okay. Just don't"

But Halt continued, his guilt pouring off his lips,

"If I hadn't left you alone, you wouldn't have gotten captured-"

"Halt-"

"And this wouldn't have happened."

Will looked up at him, making Halt stare directly into Will's slightly blackened left eye.

"Halt, it wasn't your fault. Yes, you left me alone. But you had to. You had to get those kids out of there, and we had no idea that there would be an ambush waiting for me in those woods."

At this point Halt had finished re-bandaging his torso, and was now re-applying salve to a wound on his left shoulder, a wound that hadn't cauterized properly, from what Halt could tell.

Will continued, determined to shut this whole topic of conversation down tonight. "Halt...When I got captured...It took you 5 days to find me, had you AND me been captured, we might not have ever been found. We would've died there."

Halt turned a pained expression on him, "But they tortured you Will." His voice thick with emotion. "And even if that's not on me, I feel like it is. I feel like I was supposed to watch out for you. But I failed...because you're in pain and-"

"Halt...It's not you're fault! Please, take it from the person who was tortured, It's not on you. It was my choice. My choice to stay behind while you went on ahead, my choice to not give them the information they wanted, my choice. My decision. Not yours Do you understand me? And- yes, I am in pain, I won't deny that. But It's okay. Or it will be okay, just please go with me on this. If I don't blame you, you shouldn't blame you. Okay? Please Halt?"

Halt's expression looked contorted for a moment. Then finally a small, sad smile spread slowly across his face.

"Okay Will...Yeah I can do that- I think"

Will huffed out a relived laugh,

"Good. Because if you blamed yourself for every stupid thing I did, I don't think you'd get a break"

Halt sat beside him and smiled, "Well that's certainly true."

They went to sleep that night peacefully, still listening to the soothing crackles and pops of the fire.