Edgy Encanto Ideas (slaughter lambs)

The note

this request was made by Dragonposeidon where is about Mirabel writing a suicide note but doesn't get the chance to attempt but she doesn't get rid of the note and someone finds it.

Trigger warning: suicide attempt, Mirabel has depression, implied child neglect, intrusive thoughts, self harm and eating disorders.

I'm not a doctor nor a therapist so i have no idea if the things I'm saying for recovery are correct or accurate. Emotionally constipated is a thing and it sucks :(

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The first time Mirabel want to die or just truly thought about not being here with her family was when she was 10. It was after Antonio, the newest baby, was born. Before the baby Mirabel was the youngest. But that didn't mean she was spoiled or anything, actually she was mostly ignored by the family, well besides her parents. The only time Mirabel was noticed was when she was ask to do something or when she was in trouble.

So Mirabel decided to get others to notice her. She ran away. It only lasted a day, since she was 10, but it was both scary and fun. She hid in the little jungle (not to deep, she didn't want to get eaten by a tiger or a wild animal.) She grab all her belongings and some food and hid. Waiting for someone to notice, (only Dolores's did because of her hearing, even then she didn't came to find her until it was sunset.)

The second time Mirabel wanted to die was when she was 13. She was in the dirt covering herself from the hits and kicks that some local older teens. These teens were drunk, and bored so they targeted Mirabel. Grown up Mirabel never had to deal with bullying or getting hit, everyone (beside the kids she babysits) ignored her.

After the bullies were finished, Dolores and Lusia came and carry her home, Mirabel surly thought; This is it. Dolly and Lu saw me being hit and get hurt, they have to notice me! Even if they don't they at least care about me to not let me bleed out and die...

While yes, Dolores and Luisa care about her and spend the rest of the week playing and caring for Mirabel, they two left and had to dealt with their own emotions and issues. Maybe those teens should have it harder, or if I was quieter maybe Dolores wouldn't have hear me. Or if Luisa got there to late I would have already be dead...

Somehow after the beating, Mirabel became different. Sure she still talk to her family and play and mess around with them. She still sings and play with her kids that she babysits. She still a normal girl but there was changes were there. She talk less sometimes, when she was in the middle of a rant about the history of sewing and it's types she's go quite if someone looks at her wrong or if they just sign and look bored. She's either eats less or sometimes eat too much. While Mirabel alway wears long skirts, she alway seems....hesitant to change out of her skirts around her family. Little things like that.

It was now the day before Antonio's birthday. Also his ceremony. Everyone in town and her family seem to walk on eggshells around her (except that one dude who gave Mirabel a pastry saying it's for free because tomorrow is the reminder of her failed ceremony. Mirabel hates that man, but it's better then having everyone treat her like glass.)

Emotions seem to squirm and twist around her brain. Darker and darker they become, telling her to harm herself or others. Usually Mirabel ignore these thought by either sewing or doing something else. Or she let the thoughts come and she'll draw them out and then she'll burns the papers. But neither of those coping mechanisms were working. Moving around, spinning, and jumping? Nope. Reading? Nope. Sewing? Big NO, the needles are too tempting...Singing? Dancing? No. Drawing? No. Eating? While that help and taste good, it made the thoughts worse..