Restless Soul

15

   The Fullwood residence was a spectacular piece of property. Sitting atop the hill with the town below, the French country-style house stood to represent the inhabitants it contained. Surrounded by a black iron fence, the perfectly mowed lawn was the only color that stood out in front of the white house. When it rained, the fog would gather in the garden. Anyone who wasn't used to the various sculptures standing out would be kept guessing. The white curtain slithered between the statues, creating silhouettes that seemed to shift with every gust of wind.

   Matt couldn't remember the last time he'd been on the roof. Usually, he'd be out chilling with friends or his girlfriend, Monsel. The rest of his free time would be spent sleeping. He was driven and committed to maintain his position as team captain, something he knew came through hard work and consistency.

   For a while, he lost himself as his eyes jumped from one roof to the next. He zeroed in on the third cottage house with an active chimney. The smoke message got lost in the sky, intermingled with the light drizzle happening.

   His hand balled up into a fist, pain shooting through his bruised knuckles. Watching the color of his skin travel up the shade pyramid was all he'd managed to focus on once he'd left her room. As the hours rolled by, his anxiety grew, causing him to nearly give in to picking at the scabs. He somehow managed to convince himself that it would only cause him more pain and instead got out of bed, eager to find anything to distract himself from what had happened.

Now that he'd had time to think without her justified scrutiny shining a light on his faults, he was able to make himself feel even worse. His failed apologies made him cringe, raging his growing frustration with himself.

   If going by Monsel's words, he knew he wasn't the smartest when emotional relationships were concerned. Hell, it took her months to convince him to give in when he'd refused to see her affections as proof of her love for him. Though after ten missed calls, three voicemails, and nineteen messages, he'd stopped to wonder whether his skepticism for once was well placed.

Could it be that his own sister had been crying out for help and he'd been clueless about it? He recalled all the times he watched her wander around the house, her headphones over her ears, lost in her own little world.

   Shame had been weighing him down, the heavy burden getting one pound heavier as instances of his indifference for her well-being piled up. She was a mystery to him. As much as it hurt to admit, it was the truth. With that came a wave of curiosity, like a secret he couldn't wait to unveil. So following her usual route, he went through the hallway, up to the attic.

   For a place deprived of human care for so long, he found it rather comforting. At the end of the roof, he could see the dark grey clouds getting whisked away by the wind. A cool breeze greeted him when he peeked out the window.

After about an hour of watching the day turn dark, he understood the appeal. Once again, the guilt tugged at his heart, making him wish he'd tried to bond with her more, instead of accepting the differences between them and using them as excuses to stay away.

On his way back to his room, Mayor Fullwood pulled open Amanda's bedroom door. Matt froze in his steps and stared at his father as if waiting for a verdict.

Mayor Fullwood watched the door as it closed behind him. Letting out a sigh, he brought a hand to his face, rubbing his eyes in a way that could express either relief or weariness.

"How is she?"

His head shot up.

"I'm not sure if she's just putting up a great front for our sake or..." he paused, running his chin deep in his head.

After a moment, he sucked on his teeth in a move that seemed definite, "To tell you the truth, I'm not sure I want to know."

"Shouldn't we get her to talk about it?"

"Opening up is the first step of healing. However, if we force her into that stage too soon, we'll do more damage than allowing her to keep it all in ever could."

Matt lowered his eyes, once again feeling stupid in front of something that should be considered common sense.

"How are you holding up?" his father spoke softly, approaching him with a sympathetic smile.

Scoffing, he licked his lips, eyes low, "Why are you asking me?"

Mayor Fullwood cocked his head.

"She's your twin."

"Yet I don't know a thing about her," he shot back with more aggression than he'd meant to let out.

Just the hint of shock on his father's face, made his lips twitch as once again, it was made obvious that he lagged the qualities that'd make him a good brother.

Unable to handle the pitiful look now spreading on his face, Matt did what seemed to have become his only response to candid conversations.

"Matt."

He ignored the call, seeking refuge in his room.

   Time ticked by, and eventually, his entire room was plunged into darkness. Matt wasn't sure if he'd slept. With every blink, the day appeared to come fast, until sunlight peered through the blinds and a motor started in the driveway.

   He was expecting it to be much harder to get up to take a look. But truth be told, he only felt numb. Sitting at the wheel of the car, Mayor Fullwood waited on Amanda. When the front door closed, only seconds went by before she appeared on the pavement, hair up in a fiery bun.

   His senses that'd been shut down seemed to ignite all at once. Could he really hold it against her for not wanting to share a car ride that was sure to smother them both? No, he couldn't. But the ache in his heart wore the disguise of betrayal better, dragging with it a cap of vexation.

When his phone buzzed on the nightstand, he didn't ignore it. Upon reading the Reminder notification, he gritted his teeth so hard his jaw ached.

   He had a game today, and if his frenzied mental state wasn't reason enough to doubt his abilities, his sudden thirst for the adrenaline rush that accompanies tackling a player to the ground woke a pensive bone in his body. But he had no time to think or worry about his screw-ups. He knew the rules of the game, and on the list of things not permitted, distractions held the number one spot, followed by recklessness, which he was too blind to see was his newly adopted motto.

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