𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬𝐟-𝐀𝐥𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐝 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 (𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝) 𝐁𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐚 𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐝 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐊𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐕𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 (𝐊𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐃𝐢𝐞𝐤𝐦𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐫) 𝐢𝐬 𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐁𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐚 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐞.
𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧- 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫
𝐁𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐚-𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭
𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬-𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬
𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐝 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐩- 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 (𝐈𝐧 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐎𝐍)
𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐎𝐍- 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐳𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐕𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫- 𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐬 𝐁𝐅𝐅 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞.
I watched my adult man child fnaf beatbox like no man had ever done before and sighed. Having a child is tiring...not to mention I gave birth literally 25 seconds ago.
*we got the Applebees and the late nights* my phone rang out loudly meaning that my bestie Kadie Karen Diekmeyer was calling me, aka that Vegan Teacher.
To be quite honest, I never agreed with her opinion on veganism. I just said that I did while eating at Mcdonald's behind the scene. I did however agree with her opinion on the bite of 87' that shit was funny.
"Hey...dishwasher make me a sandwich. Bababooie!" I stared at the man-child Bubba and whispered in my most anime waifu voice "I should've used a condom."
Bubba Whale (the soon-to-be forensics teacher) started doing the renegade and Fortnite floss at the same time while repeating "You're done. You're done. You told your child that you wished he never existed. You're done."
Fancy Like by Walker Hayes continued playing in the background and I remembered That Vegan Teacher was calling me.
Before I could even get to my phone Bubba jumped off another table singing Pink Fluffy Unicorns and he used one of those dinosaur grabby things to grab my phone and I slowly fell to the ground letting out my most dramatic slow-motion scream while my bestie was talking to Bubba.
"You're a vegan too?! Omg let's get married, beach, beach! Let's get away...they say what they gonna say!"Her voice screeched out from my crusty unicorn-cased android.
My son was not a vegan. He had just seconds before eaten 69 dinosaur nuggies and we both knew it.
"Yes, let's get married like Edward and Bella..."
"HOLD UP. BUBBA IS MINE!! I'M HIS. WE ARE TOGETHER!!!" I screamed and Kadie Karen Diekmeyer interrupted "Isn't that like incest though?"
Bubba whispered in his anime dub voice "yeah that's like incest, y'know Karen...? I gotta be reliable with the ladies, Karen and you literally look like a man...fruity ass mf."
I gasped "I DO NOT!!" then suddenly Trump and the culinary teacher's secret lover KWATSON came into the room...
"Actually, yeah you kind of do. I would build a wall to separate us but this is like my house, Karen..." Trump said and I gasped cutely
"Kwatson...do you agree with TrumpieMcmuffinCutePieApplesauce??" I asked looking up at her with my sweetest puppy dog eyes
"What are you doing with your face- it's so scrunched up, not skrunkly at all"Kim Watson said, and I started crying ugly tears while Chug Jug With You played in the background due to That Vegan Teacher and Bubba agreeing that Fortnite is "the bomb"
"You guys are all sussy imposters, I never want to talk to you again!" I threw my phone at the wall and pushed KWatson and Trumpiemuffinheadmcmuffins to the side (along with all the managers that rejected my true cute love for them) and I grabbed Bubba Whale by his arm which was slippery because he was still in that sweaty godforsaken Kirby cosplay and I pulled him out the door.
...To be continued
