Introducing new character- Coach Reynolds, one of the previously mentioned characters will be introduced as well.
No photo yet, but soon enough there will be
I look desperately into my grown ass old man son/date to Walmart's eyes and I ask him "Can we get that one type of cookies?" I ask and he looks at me weirdly "You're my mom/date you have the $$$"
What a cheap ass little gremlin...I love him so much <333
So I grabbed a handful of the cookie packages (That being all the cookies they had available) and I shoved them all in my cool-car-cart.
Bubba was literally drooling at the sight of the cookies and I basically was like "No cookies 4 u. Diet now."
...and then I shoved a whole package of diet coke in his hands. :)))
"yummy...bubba likes diet coke." he said in his Eren Jaeger dub voice
*WE GOT THE APPLEBEES AND THE LATE NIGHTS** my phone rung off and I answered without looking at who was calling.
"Eating animals is wrong, MCDONALDS...Eating animals is wrong...MCDONALDS. SING OUR ANIMAL SONG" blared from my phone, Kadie Karen Diekmeyer must've hacked into my phone and changed the volume level.
All the other customers looked at me weirdly and then a man wearing ball-shorts and a Satanist t-shirt walked up to me. "Hey babe, I hear you're a vegan...wanna do some squats in front of me?"
Both Bubba and That Vegan Teacher gasped and in the background I could hear KWATSON and Trump gasp as well. "KAREN'S MINE! "They all yelled in unison
Jeez, they could at least share... plus my one and only was Bubba Bradley (Chad) Whale and nobody else could have him.
I gave the man wearing a Satanist shirt my signature glare while everyone talking on the phone and Bubba sang Misery by maroon5.
"ooh babe I love the glare. My name's Coach Reynolds but you can call me Coach." He winks at me and I gag out a hairball tinted with rainbows, they're colored like that because I ate Rainbow Dash for dinner yesterday.
As I was staring down at my hairball, Bubba was holding my crusty android and hanging up on That Vegan Teacher and all the others. Coach Reynolds picked up the hairball and stuffed it in his ballshorts. "For later. "He explained winking again with a signature smile
Bubba sighed in jealousy "I wish I had some of Karen's hairballs..." and Coach grinned "I have something better for you." and he started doing squats in front of Bubba.
As I watched all this go down I could feel something tiny being thrown at my back and I turned around. There were little pebbles on the ground... y'know the glow in the dark ones that go in fish tanks? Yeah, those.
I left Bubba, Coach Reynolds, and the shopping cart filled with cookies behind and followed the pebble trail to the exercise aisle and there sat a bald man rapping to a nefarious beat.
Why is there so many hot people in my life...?
The man winked at me and I almost fainted on the spot. "My name's Dwane...but you can just call me the Rock because I'm going to rock your world bby <3" He flirted
Karen- Main character
Bubba- Child/Love interest of Karen
Trump- Karen's ex/husband
KWATSON- Trumps girlfriend
That Vegan Teacher/Kadie Karen Diekmeyer- Karen's bff
Coach Reynolds- Has a crush on Karen
Dwane The Rock- Has a crush on Karen
(555 words ayyyyy)
