I Loved Her First

Chapter Fifteen (end)

The party drags on for a few more hours until everyone leaves. Jay and Adam are two of the last to do so. Both of them are desperate to get a word in with Sam. But she is adamant about her earlier statement and manages to avoid both men all night. Matt eventually kicks both of them out and Sam is left in peace to collect her thoughts.

Sam takes up residence on Matt and Dana's couch and it doesn't take long for her beloved sister-in-law to come to her rescue.

"So, you want to tell me what that was all about?" Dana sits down next to Sam.

"It's a mess, that's what it is." Sam puts her head in her hands. "Jay's been lying to me about shit. And Adam...Fuck. I don't even know what to do about him." She sighs heavily.

"Alright." Dana sighs and rubs Sam's back. "Come on, we can get this sorted out. Matt, go grab us a drink." She dismisses Matt from the room.

Matt nods and disappears into the kitchen so Dana and Sam can talk alone. Sam sits upright when Matt leaves and sighs.

"He told me that he was in love with me, Dana." She explains. "Can you believe that? After all these years, and he says something now? Right when I might have found someone else? I mean, what gives him the right?"

"I know." Dana nods. "It wasn't right of him. Especially when you consider your feelings for him." She shakes her head.

"I was in love with him." Sam clenches her fists. "And he didn't do a damn thing about it back then. So I got over it. I accepted that we'd never be more than friends. He did that." Anger boils up in her voice.

"Mhm, I know." Dana nods, knowing Sam just needs to vent.

"And then there's Jay!" Sam shakes her head. "I thought that I'd finally had something meaningful. Turns out he's been lying to me. He knew the whole time Adam had feelings for me! Why? Why would he do that?" She turns to Dana for an answer.

Dana remains quiet for a moment, not sure if she can give Sam the answer that she's looking for. And Sam waits patiently for a reply. Any comfort that Dana can provide her.

"Sam, honey." Dana starts. "It's not right, what either of them did. But sweetie, you can't hold a grudge forever. Both of those boys love you, I know that for a fact. And they deserve an ass-kicking. But you can't shut them out forever."

"I know." Sam sighs deeply. "What am I going to do?" She puts her head in her hands again.

"Well, that depends," Dana replies. "What is your gut telling you? Do you still have feelings for Adam like you did before? Or have you fully moved on? Because Jay may be an ass. But he loves you just the same." She asks Sam with a gentle smile.

"I...I don't know." Sam shakes her head.

"And that's perfectly okay." Dana nods and Matt comes back into the room with drinks. "The kids are gone for the night. We've got time." She hands Sam a drink.

"We're here for you, Sam," Matt adds and sits down.

Sam takes her drink and thanks both her brother and Dana for their time and understanding. She takes some time to compose herself again and then some more time to think about her options.

"Matt, what do you think?" She asks her brother after a while.

"About?" Matt sets his drink down.

"About Adam and Jay." Sam clarifies.

"You're asking me?" Matt laughs. "I don't know." He shrugs. "You've seemed really happy since Jay came around. But you seemed alright with Adam before that."

"Ultimately it's up to you, sweetie," Dana adds.

Sam nods and everyone talks for a bit longer before they all head to bed. Sam barely sleeps though. Her mind going around in circles about what she's going to do. Adam or Jay?

The next morning Sam is up early and enjoys some breakfast with Dana and Matt. She helps clean up a bit before she eventually heads home to where she knows Jay is waiting to talk to her.

When Sam gets home she finds Jay in her living room sitting on her couch. He looks like he didn't get much sleep either.

"Jay, we need to have a serious conversation." Sam lets Jay know immediately.

"Okay." Jay nods. "Please sit down." He pats the spot next to him. "And Sam, I'm sorry. I know that I've been acting like a dick. And it wasn't right to keep Adam's feelings to myself."

"Thank you." Sam nods and sits down. "I forgive you for lying to me, Jay. I get why you did it. Adam and I have history, and you didn't want to ruin your chance with me by telling me how he felt." She explains

"Yeah, exactly." Jay nods. "And again, I'm sorry." He adds.

"Jay, I need to know if you really think that there is something here. Because I cannot keep seeing you if you're just going to pack up and go back to Japan soon. I need to know that you're in deep enough to commit." Sam explains her thoughts.

She knows that if she stays with Jay then it has to be a long-term thing. Long-distance isn't something that she can handle at the moment. And she knows that.

"I am," Jay replies. "Sam, if you want me to then I'd be happy to stay here. All you have to do is ask. I'll get a job working for a company in the states." He pleads with Sam, sincerity in his voice.

"Okay then." Sam nods, looking down at her lap.

"Hey," Jay replies softly, tilting Sam's head up by her chin to look at him. "I love you, Samantha. Okay? And I'm not going anywhere." He assures her.

"I love you too." Sam agrees and leans in for a kiss.

"It's over for us then?" Suddenly a second male presence makes themselves known.

Sam breaks away from Jay and finds Ad standing in the archway of the living room.

"Adam?" Sam furrows her brows.

"That's it huh?" Adam shakes his head. "He's said a few sweet words and that's it? All those years out the window for us?" He asks Sam.

"You had plenty of time to tell me how you felt Adam!" Sam protests. "And you didn't. You chose that. Not me. At least Jay was man enough to admit his feelings and intentions."

"I was scared! Scared that I was going to lose you!" Adam argues. "And I can't do it without you, Sam."

"Oh don't be selfish, Adam." Sam scoffs. "Stop acting like an ass." She scolds him. "We're still friends, Adam. Just like we were before. And if you kept your feelings from me for that long, you can do it again." She insists, still harboring a bit of anger towards Adam.

"Fine." Adam nods. "If Jay really makes you happy then fine." He shakes his head.

"He does," Sam confirms. "And I am sorry it couldn't work out for us, okay?" She walks over to him. "But it just wasn't meant to be."

Sam hugs Adam tightly and he hugs her back as hard as he can manage. It hurts. It hurts like hell that he'll never be with Sam. Not in the way that he wants. But he's not losing her completely. And that fact is the long thing keeping him going.