Everlasting

Chapter 11

Griffin

My childhood room didn't fit right anymore.

I couldn't remember a time it wasn't my safest space. Ever since I was a kid, my room had been a retreat. I had a reading area in my closet, with plush cushions and blankets making a cozy nest where I had happily spent hours cocooned away from the world. I had a canopy bed with draped fabrics creating another shield between myself and everything else. The walls were lined with shelves full of books, each its own portal into lives and experiences that were far different from my own.

I was used to my room making me feel secure. It didn't anymore, not with my future so unpredictable now. And my books weren't supposed to make me feel isolated, but they did. They were full of people finding their place in the world, people making new connections with the ones who mattered to them. And what was I doing? Hiding out in my parents' house while my life moved on without me?

What was I even doing here?

Usually in moments of doubt, I'd go to my dads, but they had disappeared after dinner. Tyler and Blair were playing video games, and I could hear Margo on a call with her mate. If I went to her, she'd be annoyed at first but she'd hang out with me. But I didn't want to do that. Margo had made it through the end of our camping trip without complaint, though I knew it wasn't to her liking and that she was missing Krish. I wasn't going to begrudge her happiness now.

I sat on my bed surrounded by its sheltering (smothering?) canopy and thought I might actually combust if I stayed here any longer. So, I pulled out my phone and texted my cousin, "I'm coming over."

Kitana replied almost instantly, "Hurry up, there's pizza."

I smiled at that. Even if I'd already had dinner with my parents and siblings, I wouldn't turn down a slice or two. But what really had me smiling was the easy acceptance and lack of prying. That would continue once I got there; oh, Kit would have every expectation that I'd tell her what was going on... but she wouldn't push me to do it.

Dad and Pop had left me in charge of Tyler and Blair, so I stopped by Margo's room to let her know I was passing responsibility to her. She offered a two-fingered salute in acknowledgment and didn't break the flow of her conversation with Krish at all. I left her door open, earning a deep sigh that made me smile as I headed down the hall.

Within ten minutes, I stood in front of my uncles' house. Kitana pushed me back outside before I took three steps past the threshold. She directed me to the faded wooden porch swing and shoved a plate onto my lap before I could get a word in.

"Thanks," I said, my tone coming out sounding sarcastic. But then I saw that the plate held a piece of sausage pizza and a piece with green peppers, and I repeated, "Thanks," more earnestly.

She smiled broadly and settled down with her own plate, which had three crusts on it as well as the piece she scooped up and took a massive bite out of. "'Welcome."

She slid down in her seat and looked out at the view. Across the narrow dirt road from her parents' house was the massive pack house. It was always alive with activity, and we had spent a great many afternoons lounging on the porch, idly watching the bustle.

I jolted and almost threw my plate in my excitement. "Oh my gosh! Kit! I know what to do!"

She blinked in surprise before smiling at my enthusiasm. Kitana was so pretty when she smiled, her eyes crinkling charmingly and her lips spreading in a grin that was just uneven enough to put you off your guard. "Really?"

"I need to move out." My mind raced. It was something people had been asking me about for years... everyone except Dad. Even Pop had delicately asked about my reasons for staying with them rather than seeking some modicum of independence. I knew he'd just been worried about me, but the whole conversation had made my chest ache. I hated not living up to my parents' expectations, even their unvoiced ones.