Bold, Breathless Love

The Heart Wants What it Wants

Abby ran home to the safety of her room where she undressed from her wet clothes and threw on her pajamas, then fell into her bed and cried her heart out. She was a fool to believe even for a second that Steven could possibly have feelings for her when he could have any beautiful girl in the school that he wanted.

She was humiliated, ashamed of what she had done, and she would never forgive herself for giving in to Steven's advances. So weak she was and so desperate for his love that she wasn't thinking straight and she made a fool out of herself!

Her iPhone was ringing and ringing, but Abby didn't want to speak to anyone. She was hurt and felt betrayed. She would never forgive him and more importantly she would never forgive herself either for falling in love with him.

The thunder and lightening continued throughout the day, Abby slept through it all, she had cried herself into a deep sleep.

************

Sitting in his car, Steven cursed the day he was born. He smoked one cigarette after another until he emptied out the entire pack. His hands trembled as he lit the last cigarette, taking a long puff, he inhaled it slowly and then released it right away. Rolling down the window, Steven threw his cigarette out and cursed out loud again.

"Damn it!" He swore, and slammed his palm against the steering wheel.

His lips were still hot from her kiss, he had lost himself in her when she kissed him back. He wanted her badly, she did things to him that no one else ever had the power to do.

The image of her eyes looking up at him, the hurt he saw in them killed him. She trusted him and gave herself to him willingly and he destroyed her by pushing her away.

He couldn't bring himself to ruin such an innocent soul, he cared for her deeply and he knew that sooner or later he would hurt her, and he would never forgive himself if that ever happened.

It took every ounce of strength he had inside of him to push her away, he wanted to be her first and her last, he wanted to look into her eyes the moment she came and called out his name in the heat of the moment. He wanted to be her first in every way possible, but knew that he couldn't trust himself to not hurt her.

He didn't know exactly what it was he was feeling for her, but what he did know for sure was that he didn't want to destroy her. His heart was emotionally attached to this girl whom he had come to like. He asked himself a thousand times why her, but there was no answer for that question. The heart wants what it wants.

She was different than all the rest of them, she was pure, angelic like, innocent and sweet. She did not sleep around or use her body to get what she wanted. She wasn't at all his type, she was not pretty, she dressed like a clown, she was short and a little over weight, yet he craved her like the flowers craved the sun. He needed her like the fish needed the water! He yearned for her like a lover who had lost his soul, and every fiber in his body burned for her and it drove him wild with madness.

You love her you fool!

But he was in denial and shook his head, "No, I do not love the clown girl!" He yelled out loud, "she simply has bewitched me into believing that I do!"

The pounding on the glass window pulled Steven out of his troubled thoughts, and he turned to look at the intruder. It was Jacob and he continued to pound on the window until Steven unlocked the car door.

"Are you crazy?" Jacob yelled, and slid into the the passenger side door, "what the hell is wrong with you man!"

Steven said nothing, he just stared out into the parking lot.