Just Ask

A Moment Never Wished to Come

           Everything seemed to be fine for a while. Jason and Ethan had struck conversation and laughter while they waited for their food. When it arrived, Jason was a bit confused. In all his time of knowing Ethan, he's never seen him eat as little as he was now. That wasn't even a salad... Just a few bites of lettuce at most. He didn't say anything about it until he noticed Ethan had talked; and hadn't eaten any of it. This was weird, because Ethan loved his fair share of food- it brought him happiness. So seeing this was worrying, so he put his hand gently atop of Ethan's hand. It took Ethan a moment to realize, before seeming confused and semi moved the hair out of  the way, not much though.
        "Baby? Is something the matter?" Ethan looked over at him, however hesitated when he shook his head. "Uh, no. No everything is fine honey, don't you worry!" He said smiling. He reassured him a couple times before changing the subject. "So have you managed to finish the Chemistry project Jason?" Of course he thought this would work, this got a sigh out of the man.
      "No I didn't. Now can we please-" He got cut off by the waiter coming to check on them. "Is the food alright for you boys? Need anything else" Ethan nodded and gave him his empty cup. "More coffee please Karl." He said smiling. With a nod he was off to do so. "Baby please listen to me. You're not oka-" "yes I am! I'm fine!" That's something Jason has heard plenty of times. He knew it wasn't alright, but he wasn't going to cause anything here.
 
     Once they were done and left, they drove back to school in silence, however once they got there and got out Jason out a hand on Ethan's arm. "Ethan, please tell me what's going on." They played it off as being confused, but Jason kept pushing... He didn't even realize he was. "N..nothing don't worry about it I'm perfectly fine!" He shook his head, "enough with that. Something is wrong and you're not telling me. You seemed off this morning, you got yourself sent to the office, and you didn't eat anything and you said you were hungry. Please.. I just want to take care of you."
      They knew this was stupid.. "Jason please, I have to get to class-" They didn't realize what that brought him to.. he wasn't angry, he was upset. "God damn it Ethan! What's going on with you!? Why won't you tell me!" He didn't mean to yell.. but he couldn't handle it any more. The yelling made Ethan jump and move back a step, but Jason wouldn't let go. "Jason please.." "What is going on with you that you won't fucking tell me! I'm supposed to be helping you, so let me.help!" He never yelled so Ethan knew he did something. Ethan pulled his arm out of his grip, tears rimming his eyes. "I'm just... Dealing with stuff, alright?.." This started to make him angry.
      "For fucks sake Ethan, what could be wrong in any part of your amazing fucking life? Something so bad you can't even tell me!" Ethan let a tear or two fall then, holding himself. "Amazing? You think my life is so god damn great!? Try being hurt by my parents so I was put up for adoption! I can still remember all they did and I absolutely hate it! Try caring as much as I do and doing everything for everyone! Try having to keep up a reputation for being the smart one when I don't even know whts the hell I'm doing! Try looking as hideous and mixed up as I do! The more times I shift I change, can't you see!? I'm ugly! I'm stupid, I'm a faker! I don't tell you because I want you to be happy, I don't want you worrying about my life. I want you to focus on your own and be the happy man that I fell in love with!"
    They closed their hand over their mouth after they finished... They didn't want to have said that.. they could see the look in Jason's face.. they shook their head. "I'm so sorry... I'm so so sorry..I've been such a bad lover, I'm sorry!" And Ethan ran inside the school crying, before Jason could catch him. Now he was left feeling horrible. He yelled at them. Jason actually yelled and.. and hurt them without meaning to. That's what hurt the most. He felt so horrible he did this to Ethan, he ran inside the school and tried to look for him then, he needed to make this better in some way.