* i think this is more of a vent, just to get things off my chest*
How Do You Feel?
I feel something.
That's important right?
Feeling?
Being able to have your heart shattered?
I feel like sometimes I'm okay.
It happens like a wave,
They gradually pull back;
Feelings that is.
And as they grow taller,
So, my eyes water,
And when it crashes,
Tumbling everything in its path,
I'm trampled and sobbing.
Funny thing is though-
I'm not triggered by anything.
It happens when I'm alone at night,
Or when I'm surrounded by people I love.
It happens every time I close my eyes.
Here's how!
I close my eyes.
I see you standing there and I whisper,
It's almost a breath but I say it anyways.
"I miss you. I miss you so much!"
And in that moment I can feel the way you would have hugged me.
Except I can't feel it.
I see you smiling at me, but you're not really here.
And it's in those moments I realize the depth of my love for you.
And my heart, that feels like it's been shattered into a million pieces and scattered,
It breaks a little more.
But the little piece of my heart that hasn't shifted,
It swells-
Almost as if telling itself that it'll be okay.
But it gives me the strength to blink away the tears, just now finding their way out of my eyes,
And stand,
as strong as I can.
Because I know how much I love you.
And I definitely know how much you loved me.
What helps?
I know you're okay,
I know you're at peace and I'd never want to take that away from you. Even if I had the power to, I'd never because that little piece of my broken heart waits for the day I can feel the tightness of your hug and we can laugh at all my stupid, corny jokes and pickup lines.
Until then I'm trying to be the strongest I can be.
I love you Jessie, with everything I have.
YOU ARE READING
-miles per minute-
PoezjaWriting has always been my escape from reality, this book is a compilation of random short poems etc. that I've written. Miles per minute, because i overthink, when that happens, my mind races "miles per minute".
