𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐬, 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 | 𝐣𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐮𝐬

four - emotional outbursts

The next days were kind of a blur in his head. He remembered the smiling, so much that his cheeks would hurt, the slight discomfort he experienced from cutting off the daily drinking. Regulus was very particular about the drinking - and James didn't blame him - he had every right to be worried. It ran in his family. He had seen way too much, way too young.

That was the thing, James could not forgive himself, for making such a fuss about everything in his life. Regulus' life was actual hell compared to his pity problems. That boy probably went through more than anyone could ever imagine, and he knew that was true for Sirius as well. He did everything in his power to be there for them. It was what he was for. It was also the exact reason he hated himself for acting like he had any right to feel shitty about anything minor things like love in his life.

Well, he thought, maybe a deadly disease isn't as insignificant as he paints it, but it's still something he could've handled so much better. Without the voluntary loneliness and suffering. He should have just spoken. He had the best friends on earth.

The thought of those next months with Regulus made him smile a little again. All in secret of course, their little meetings quite literally kept James alive. The quidditch team started doing exceptionally well at that time, and he had a faint suspicion it had to do with a certain tall, blue eyed Slytherin boy. Maybe even the fact that this certain boy was kissing him daily.

Regulus was taller than him, at least since the beginning of that year, he came back from summer break as a whole new version of himself, as a whole new man, even.

His entire look was somehow different, he went from cute to handsome, and from being the little Black boy to someone literally having to look down at James.

Obviously, James was absolutely offended by this at first, he simply refused to be shorter than some fifth year. But as time passed, he slowly realised how much he actually enjoyed it. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he loved the dominance, someone towering over him with a passionate gaze.

Regulus Black, the man of passionate gazes. What a sappy romantic! Regulus would not admit it for the life of Godrick. He loved to hide behind his casual cold charm, pretend like he's the mysterious Black heir and not some fluffy ball of emotion and sensibility.

James wondered where it all came from, the pure selflessness, love and support radiating from that boy. That immense care he had for him. The way James felt loved by simply looking at him. Regulus' ability to brighten every single one of James' days.

Regulus loved to write letters, classy and beautiful love letters, written on the highest quality of parchment, folded flawlessly. Poems and quotes from all the random books Regulus read (mostly sappy and hopelessly romantic lines, ones that made James cringe but fill his belly with butterflies), his handwriting was neat and perfect, somehow the ink never even smeared the tiniest bit.

He also loved to send sweets to James, surprise him with expensive and special edition chocolates, usually wrapped with pastel purple bows and flawlessly charmed to glow or sparkle.

For some reason, he loved wandering to the kitchen, and he spent hours there talking to the elves. Who would've guessed; the dark, pureblood Slytherin boy cared for elves more than anyone James had ever met. Regulus knew every single one of them at Hogwarts by name, in fact, he considered himself friends with all of them and spent a lot of time making sure they felt his friendship. He always made sure to bring something for James too. Mostly something ridiculously sweet and sugary.

He slept with his socks on, in tartan pajama pants paired with big long sleeve shirts. He always claimed he was cold.

James was surprised to find that the Slytherin dorms weren't shared. At least not for Regulus, there were a few dorms with multiple beds, usually for friend groups who asked to stay together, but the rest were all simple, tiny rooms with a single bed, sink and a desk. Genders were not separated either, James spent a good amount of time wondering the reason behind this, also how other houses slept, and why on earth the Gryffindor tower was so outdated, straight up sexist.