Three to One

4. The Date

Butterflies flutter around us as we follow the path through the manicured gardens, bushes with pink and orange flowers lining the walkway. Trees reach up toward the sky and others drape down to create a curtain of leaves for us to pass through. A few butterflies briefly land on my sleeve or my shoulder but they flutter away the second I look.

"How is it?" Gun asks slipping his hand into mine, my heart hammers in my chest and I hope he can't feel it through my hand.

"Huh, uh. How is what?"

"Solo?" he asks. "Your first performance to yourself, the stage all yours, all eyes on you?" he slides a look from the corner of his eye at me.

"It's... a lot," I admit. "But it was so fun too." the feeling blossoms in my chest all over, excitement and anxiety twisting my emotions into something exhilarating or terrifying. "To hear your name called over and over again by thousands of people is... well it's incredible."

"I bet." he squeezes my hand and lets his eyes scan over the gardens, large monarch butterflies fluttering among the flowers and through the trees. Some passing so close I swear I can feel their wings brush my nose.

"You belong up there you know," he says brushing the leaves of a weeping willow out of my way.

"I do?" I look up to meet his eyes and he nods, his brown eyes warm and welcoming.

"Yeah, you're comfortable and everyone can see how happy performing makes you. That's why you have so many fans."

"You think so?" I ask, my chest squeezing. To sing and dance and make thousands of people smile.

"Fans can always feel when someone is just in it for the money or if they do it just because they can sing well." he shakes his head. "I mean look at you. You don't have to be the best singer in the group to make your own career."

His words sting even though I already knew them.

"I mean, I always thought Deiji would be the one to go solo."

"Yeah." I agree because that's what everyone said. All the polls and youtube videos guessing our future careers when we disbanded. All the articles with headlines like who'd have guessed it. All the interviewers asking me if I thought I was a better singer than the others and that's why I got signed. If I was the most likable. How I had the confidence to take the leap on my own when I had the least fans.

No. I didn't think I was better. I wasn't particularly special among BDGH. Deiji was the leader and the best singer. Hae was always the best dancer and always voted loudest and most intimidating. Gi who was the cute and sweet one, always making sure she had spare snacks and water for us. I was never the special one. I just couldn't imagine living without it.

"Deiji would be an amazing solo artist." I force myself to smile, his word stinging like a fresh cut but they are true. They're not anything I haven't heard hundreds of times over.

"I'm sorry." he pulls me into a hug. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. "Being passionate and dedicated about your art is more important than being the best at it." his scent fills my nose, a floral woodsy scent reminiscent of a walk through the woods in early spring.

"You didn't hurt my feelings." I try to pull away but he only gives me a little space to meet mY eyes. "I know already."

He nods. "Someone else being more talented than you doesn't make your talent less valuable."

I know. I try to step away again but he keeps his arms around me.

"Do you know what butterflies represent?" He asks.