Redemption Complex

Prologue

I looked into the wolf's eyes and torn by agonizing hunger it stared back at me. It was starved just as I was. To make us submit, easier affected by bliss and conditioning. The chain it was being held by rattled. I was nothing more than free food on a silver plate. A muddy gravel pit silver plate surrounded by cages, metal fences, frantically cheering cultists and whimpering prisoners. On top of one of the cages stood Jakob Seed giving another speech about the survival of the fittest and why that was so important for his people. Strong, weak, train, hunt, kill, sacrifice - I couldn't hear it anymore. He wasn't the Jakob I knew, but with every passing day it became clearer I wouldn't get him back. His words were the result of my actions, I could have prevented this but I chose wrong, ran away like I always did. Memories started to occupy my mind again as they always did when I was near him. Every one of them hurt worse than all the bruises on my skin combined, memories of a better, happier time. But that time was lost, and he was lost, too.

They hadn't bothered to clean the remains of the previous prisoner yet as I saw bones in one corner of the pit. Maybe that would be me in a few seconds. And with everything that had happened, the fight with John, the confrontation and unclear fate of Faith... Maybe I deserved it, or maybe I wanted it. The easy way out, almost like running away yet again. The wolf would bite my throat, it would hurt for a few moments, but then nothing and no one would ever hurt me again.

But this time I wouldn't choose the easy path.

"So, are you going to get rid of these cuffs or what?", I yelled at the men holding me in place. They wanted to see me down, submissive, but giving them that pleasure would be the last thing I'd ever do. My hands were tied together tightly with a rope behind my back and as far as I knew, these pit fights were supposed to be 'fair'. One of them turned towards Jakob. "Sir?" The latter watched my reaction closely as I was watching him to see his face when he would speak the answer. His expression didn't change and remained cold when he said: "Leave them where they are." I knew we were enemies now but that reaction upset me anyway. "You might as well just shoot me then, you piece of shit!" My voice was a hoarse screech and shouting hurt in my sore throat. He smiled an insincere, dark smile. "Honey, I think ya will do just fine!" Before I could fire back with anything, he added: "Release the judge!" The men next to me hastily backed away, leaving me exposed to the predator in front of me. Its master unchained the wolf and scarily growling it stormed towards me, jumped and threw me over. Gravel stones tore more scars into my skin and ripped the old ones open. I felt a pulsating pain on my temple and just a second later I could feel the blood running down from it over one side of my face. But there was no time to think about it. The wolf steadied its posture above me and was ready to bite into my shoulder. With all my strength I rolled to the left, lifted my leg and managed to throw it off me. Baring its teeth, the animal watched me as I got back on my feet. The smell of my blood and my resistance angered it more. The people around us shouted and more than once I was insulted with profanities far from holy. But my moment of weakness from before was over. My own animalistic instinct to survive kicked in. Not a moment I averted my eyes from the threat in front of me. The screams around me numbed and faded into distance until the only thing I heard and focused on was my own breath. We had the same desperation in our eyes. Just like me, the wolf only wanted to survive. It had been tortured and abused, starved and drugged and I was the only food it had seen in god knows how many days. A strange empathy for the animal washed over me, which made me consider that I had lost my mind after all.

Menacingly, the judge started to walk in circles around without looking away. Any moment it would attack again, I had to be ready but with each round my head became dizzier from turning. Saliva dropped from its mouth and I remembered how parched I felt myself. How long had it been since they - he - brought me water? The animal sensed my distraction and used the opportunity. It jumped at me again, throwing me to the ground and its teeth dug into my shoulder. A pained scream escaped my throat, my legs kicking uncontrollably but hitting nothing. Would I really die here? I couldn't. For all the fixing I wanted to do, I caused so much pain instead. No, I couldn't go out like this. Not yet.