JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Uranium Horseshoe

#013 • Karl Loonie, Part ①

Friday, June 26th, 2015
$:$$ AM

Chicago II, HO | ?

...

Owen just stood there, towering over the night guard and I, with his near two-feet magic wand gripped tight in his hand, half-hidden under his black robe. Why the fuck does he carry that? It's clearly not for support, as he moves around just fine without it. Also, what the hell did he say about Stand users just a second ago?

Behind Owen was his tall, brooding Stand, One Republic. Its long black rectangular head was so damn big that it phased through the ceiling. A massive golden grin lay on its face, as per usual. It looked almost... blood hungry, but also tame... in a way...

Owen cracked his neck bone by circling it around his tight clay collar. He sighed in relief, slowly and depressingly, of course. That's just his style.

"B-boss?" The night guard holding me on the floor stuttered to say. "I-is this you?"

Oh, right. As crazy as the idea is, it's VERY easy to forget this gay wizard stripper who calls himself "Owen" simultaneously runs a whole-ass casino. I'm just surprised his subordinates get to see his face... I thought he'd be a lot more secretive than this.

Owen's purple eyes shined on his expressionless face. "Karl Loonie..." He slowly approached me and the night guard, scrambled on the floor like we were in some game of Twister. "You'd... be right."

This "Karl" guy quickly loosened his grip on me. I could feel his hands shivering more and more intensely the closer Owen got. Heavy deep breaths began to escape from his lungs. "I remember... a week or so ago..."

After every one of Owen's footsteps followed a heavy thud, and the jingling of the bells sewed onto his pants. Behind him followed One Republic, making slow metallic grunts as it approached.

I don't think Karl could've taken it any further from here. He finally tossed me aside, and ran back to the end of the room. Ah, what an idiot! Oh, just look at yourself! Now you're in deeper shit, you're farther from the damn exit!

Owen stopped right in his tracks. He stood about just one foot away from me. Owen raised his left hand into a pointing gesture and aimed it at Karl, who was panicking in the corner of the room. "You, Karl, there isn't a need to be afraid. You can consider me an 'ally' of yours..."

This didn't exactly help Karl, but it didn't do anything to make the situation worse for him, either.

Owen sighed, and looked down at me, layed on my stomach on the carpeted floor. I stared back up at him. "What?"

As out of character as it was for Owen, I had this burning feeling he was either going to kick me or spit on me, maybe both, but instead he said, "Donald, get on your feet."

"Alright, fine." I said joyfully to lighten the mood. I did as I was told, and stood up to face Owen. "Well, I'm here now, what do you want from m-"

"Stand right back there," Owen pointed his wand at the other end of the room opposing the side Karl was on. "...now. Further instruction will be given."

One Republic's long and dark metallic head turned to face me. It didn't look like it'd be happy if I didn't obey.

Okay, fine. Can't really argue with him. And it isn't like he's asking me to do much. As long as I get my part of the deal we made by the end of the day, I'm set.

Oh, right, speaking of which, who gave HIM the right to leak that camera footage? That shit will really get at my reputation when I'm rich and famous. Now thinking about it, I can't live a life where everyone knows I did that!