Elora is forced to come face to face with her past, and everything goes south from that moment forwards.
#4 in buckybarnes
#2 in darkfanfic
#2 in jamesbarnes
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2 days later *Tawny's Bar - 6:38am*
For two days, I have been on a constant edge due to the abrupt appearance of Bucky Barnes.
I had walked into that conference room blind. I had no idea what I was supposed to expect but it definitely wasn't that - I had been blindsided by everyone in that room and I was the one paying the consequences.
I would go to blink and the exact moment that I locked eyes with Bucky, completely infiltrated my head. I would go to turn a corner, and I would fear so deeply that I was going to meet with him and I'd have no escape. I would go to push back any and every thought of him, yet they would always creep their way back in and I would become engulfed.
It had been over eighty years since I had last seen Bucky and in that time, everything that I had once known about him had slowly slipped away, and all that I was left with was what I had created. I had been picturing that image for so long that it had started to slowly become my truth, so being to forced to see Bucky and being able to see that he had been okay this entire time whilst I had envisioned him in despair, was torture.
I had always imagined the very moment that I would come face to face with Bucky again, and I had always imagined that he had nothing, that he was nothing. I had imagined him to represent what had happened to us, my heart and my entire life.
I imagined him to be completely shattered, just like the state that I was left in.
But that Bucky was not the same man that I knew eight decades ago, looking into his eyes I could tell that he had zero recollection to anything that had happened between us. It was almost like that man had wiped everything clean, that he was a blank canvas waiting to be painted.
And I, unfortunately envied Bucky for that.
Something that I have always wanted, was to be able to forget everything just like Bucky so clearly has. I wanted to be able to wipe away my past and start fresh, I wanted to be able to clear everything that I once knew without having to doubt doing it, I wanted to become a new soul trapped in my physical being.
But instead, I was stuck constantly reminiscing about Bucky and the past that we share because I will never be able to free myself from that because it has been permanently branded into me, it has become a huge part of the person that I am.
Forever.
As soon as I left that conference room, I switched my phone off as I was hit with the sudden urge to isolate myself from everyone and everything.
I felt betrayed by every person that was in that conference room alongside me; every person in that room knew that Bucky was going to be there, they all knew about our shock-wave of a past and they all knew about my feelings towards him but not a single one of them decided to give me any kind of forewarning.
