Song: Tides- Jack & Jack ^
Zayn's P.O.V.- Perrie took me back to her bedroom. She pushed me against the wall and began kissing me. I kissed her back and eventually stopped, both of us gasping for air.
"Look, I-I, I h-have to leave." I told her, still gasping.
"Aw, why so early?" She asked, slumping her shoulders and frowning.
"B-Because I just have to. It was nice meeting up with you, we should hang out more."
"Wait, before you leave." She said. "Will you be my boyfriend?"
I thought for a minute, "Sure."
She kissed me on my lips once more and I ran downstairs to a crowd full of drunk people dancing on each other. I managed to squeeze my way through all of them and out of the door. I walked to Liam's house since I didn't have a car and he was the closest house in reach.
When I got there, I knocked on the door and stood waiting.
No answer.
I knocked again harder and finally the door clicked opened.
Liam rubbed his eyes and yawned.
"What are you doing here?" He asked with a mix of tired and angry in his voice.
"I needed somewhere to go after the party since I can't drive and my mom doesn't know. She thinks that I was here all day." I said.
"Well maybe you should call her." Liam suggested, a bit annoyed with me. "And why do you smell like alcohol?"
"I may have had a few drinks, but if I called my mom, she would kill me."
He hesitated before opening the door all the way for me to enter.
I was finally able to see his whole outfit.
"Are you wearing my t-shirt?" I asked, smiling.
"Yes." Liam said casually with still a hint of tiredness in his voice. "You can sleep on my bed, I'll sleep on the couch."
I sighed, "Liam, I'm really sorry about earlier."
He looked down at the floor, "Don't worry about it, you got invited and you went."
"B-But I have a girlfriend now." I looked at him and he looked up. "Perrie."
I could've sworn that I saw a tear run down his face but it was hard to see in the slight darkness.
He cleared his throat, "I know, I-I mean, C-Congrats to you." He sighed. "We should probably get to bed."
I could tell that he was mad at me and maybe even sad because I didn't hang out with him today.
I frowned and walked up to his room.
There was a book laying on his nightstand which read 'Liam' on the cover of it.
Being my nosy self, I plopped onto Liam's bed and began to read it.
Day One(7th grade)- It was the first day of seventh grade and I was nervous. Zayn was the only person who kept me going each and everyday and gave me confidence.
I smiled to myself and continued to read.
One thing that I hope won't happen today is getting bullied. Why do people always tease me? I just want answers.
The rest of the page was blank and I flipped through a couple pages.
Day 35(7th grade)- This world doesn't deserve me anymore. No one cares about me at all. I don't know why or how I hold on.
Why didn't Liam ever tell me about his problems? I sighed and continued flipping through the pages, finally getting to eighth grade year.
Day 48(8th Grade)- Nothing has changed. It's still the same. I'm not welcomed anywhere. I can't join in conversations or socialize to anyone because I'm invisible.
Ninth grade.
Day 37(Ninth Grade)- Photo shoots seem like the only place where I feel free because I'm with my best friend and I'm doing what I love; taking photos. If only there was a way where I could always be free without knowing I'm the target.
Tenth grade.
Day 73(Tenth grade)- Love. What happens if you never find it? What if the person that you love doesn't feel the same way about you?
Who could Liam possible love?
I shut the book quietly and placed it back on his nightstand.
The thoughts ran through my mind on who Liam could be in love with.
I wanted to read further to see who it was, but I stopped myself.
I turned Liam's light off and made myself comfortable in his bed, taking in his scent that was left on the pillows.
***
Liam's P.O.V.- The light came shining through the curtains and onto my face. I groaned and rubbed my eyes before waking up to see Zayn watching tv on the love seat.
He looked over at me and shot a slight smile, "Good morning."
"Mhm." I hummed, yawning and laying back down on the couch, focusing my attention on the tv.
"Liam, I'm really sorry. I should have never gone to that party. I got a girlfriend and I was finally proud of myself for that. My whole life, I was called gay and all I wanted was someone to love." He said quietly.
I sat up, "And you think I've never been called gay or ever wanted to find love?"
I wasn't in the mood for arguments as soon as I woke up but he thought that he had his life hard.
"Zayn, everyone loves you. Don't even start by saying no one likes you or that you'll never find love. You're lucky that you have someone!"
I looked down at the ground and closed my eyes for a few seconds before rushing upstairs to my room.
Zayn followed after and pushed me up against the wall once he reached me.
"Just go home already. You're sober enough now." I struggled to get out of his reach but failed.
"I told you that I was sorry Liam! How many times do I have to tell you!? Quit feeling sorry for yourself! All that you care about is you and how insecure you are! You always want everyone to feel bad for you! It's always been like that!" Zayn roared.
I felt my face wet from tears and I jerked out of his arms, running to my room and slamming the door behind me.
I slid down against the door and held my knees to my chest, holding my head in my arms.
"L-Liam, I d-didn't mean that." Zayn said from the other side of the door, crying. "I'll j-just leave now."
The sound of feet shuffling and walking downstairs was heard and I continued to cry. Once the front door was closed, I let all of my emotions get to me.
Zayn and I have always been the best of friends and never had fights. Now, he has a girlfriend to hang out with and new friends.
Maybe I did feel sorry about myself all the time. Why do I always ruin everything for everyone?
I stood up, grabbed the razor that laid on my dresser and held my hand out in front of me, showing my wrist.
I looked down at the scars from previous cuts.
My hand became shaky with the razor in my hand. The razor met with my arm and blood came out.
I made a few more marks in my skin before setting the razor down and looking at my wrist.
Why was I even still alive?
No one has my back when I fall now. No one will be there to tell me that all is well. No one will be here to hold me in their arms when I'm sad.
It's all over, but somehow, I still held on and I still will. There was a voice in the back of my head telling me that I can do this.
I heard the front door open and my mom's voice yelling, "Liam, honey, I'm home!"
I quickly took off my previous t-shirt and picked out a long sleeve shirt to wear. Thankfully, there were towels in my room so I could wipe the blood on my wrist. I threw the towel in my laundry basket and ran downstairs to meet my mom. If she asked, I could easily say that I had a bloody nose.
"Hello baby." She cooed, hugging me tightly.
My eyes had to have been a bit red but she thankfully seemed to ignore them.
"Mom, really?" I groaned in annoyance.
"What? I need hugs now, knowing that this is your last year of being in high-school. Next is college and you won't be around a lot anymore."
I looked down at my wrist and immediately turned away, looking at the floor instead.
"Is something wrong hun?" My mom asked, lifting my head and frowning.
"N-No, nothing's wrong. I'm f-fine." I lied.
"Okay..." She said, removing her hands off of my face and frowning again.
"I'm going to u-uh go to my room." I said breaking the silence.
"What about Zayn? Aren't you two going to hang out?" She asked.
I bit my lip and closed my eyes for a second before shaking my head and running to my room.
After making sure that I locked my door, I laid on my bed and stared up at the ceiling.
Finally, I remembered that I had my phone with me. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and opened the messaging app, opening Zayn's name before I stopped myself.
"No, Liam." I whispered. "He has Perrie. He has Perrie."
Just then, I realized that I could smell Zayn's cologne which left a scent in my bed. It smelt nice. It was like he was right with me even though he wasn't.
I looked over at my camera and smiled weakly before looking back up at the ceiling and closed my eyes, falling asleep.
***
The Next Day-
Zayn's P.O.V.- Liam. That's all that was on my mind right now.
I sat at the edge of my bed with my head in my hands.
What am I doing? My best friend is miserable and depressed because of me.
Every once in a while, I would check to see if he texted me.
Nothing.
Through all of the years that we've been friends, there has never been a big problem between us.
Now there is a problem and it's all my fault. I was supposed to have Liam's back whenever he was sad and I failed to do that. There's no way that an amazing person like him will ever forgive someone like me.
My mom walked into my room and I instantly jumped up from my bed.
"Zayn..." She silently spoke. "Is everything okay?"
A tear fell down my face and I ran to her, hugging her and burying my head in her neck. I began to sob and she rubbed up and down my back.
When I finally calmed down, I wiped my eyes and looked down at my feet.
"I-It's Liam." I said. "I've been a horrible friend to him lately and he's having a hard time."
"What do you mean by 'hard time'?" She asked worried.
"I probably shouldn't mention it. What I really want to say is that I think I'm i-..." I stopped myself when my dad walked in.
"Never mind."
I fiddled with my fingers and looked up at my dad.
"What's going on here?" My father asked.
"N-Nothing. It's nothing. I actually have to meet up with someone right now, I'll be back later." I said, walking out of my bedroom door and rushing downstairs out of the front door.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and took a deep breath before dialing the number.
"Perrie..." I spoke into the phone. "I need for you to come pick me up."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh my gosh, it's been forever since I've updated this story! My apologies! Basketball and softball have taken most of the time out of my day, so excuse me lacking to update. Please please please like, vote, and comment for this story!! Thank you all!
YOU ARE READING
Vogue Cover // Z.M.
FanfictionLiam Payne and Zayn Malik have been best friends ever since pre-school. The summer before their 8th grade year, Liam took an interest in photography. His pictures are of no other human being or speck of nature than Zayn. Vogue recently asked for a c...