Stronger Than Silver

The Perfect Child With the Perfect Life

Trigger Warning: Bulimia, Purging, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Talk of Body/Weight, Neglect, Emotional Abuse, Cursing

(Author's Note: Purging disorder and bulimia are two different but similar eating disorders. Whereas both would include some form of purging, bulimia exists in conjunction with binge eating, while purging disorder only consists of the purging part.)

Stopping the habit had never crossed his mind even once after that wretched day. In spite of how he had tried to hold himself back with a vengeance, once he had let go of his fear, all hell had broken loose. He had relished the way that the memory of his father groping the rolls of fat all over his body had hurled into the toilet bowl along with the acidic contents of his stomach. As soon as the next day started, it became a routine despite himself. Lucius darted to the bathroom after every meal to gag himself and puke his guts out, mainly because every single piece of food that weighed down his stomach reminded him of that all-too-familiar disgustingness, that forever-lingering pile of sticky glue seeming to grow more colossal by the second.

Soon enough, Lucius had taken note that he had gotten a tad thinner.  Throwing up after every meal seemed to finally aid in him losing his stubborn belly fat over the next month or so. His waist and thighs also seemed to thin out from their previous chubbier form. In a very sickening way, these changes motivated him to continue his course of action to achieve an even lower weight. Every morsel of food, no matter how fattening it was or how large it was, ended up in the toilet bowl after ten or twenty retches. In another month, Lucius began to realize that his experiment was beginning to morph into a much more serious problem once it got to the point where he was purging up water simply because he wanted to make sure every single scrap of food was "flushed out" of his stomach. On top of how it was very unnecessary, the process tipped his body to a few scarring near-death moments.

Not only that, but Lucius was not just purging like he had intended to; he was beginning to develop a not-so-great habit of gorging himself beforehand. He figured that if he was going to throw up everything he ate anyway, it would do him no harm to eat all that he wanted. Two fingers shoved deep down his throat, a cup of lukewarm water, and a toilet solved infinite complications. The amount of food he consumed gradually increased as Abraxas, noting his son's drastic weight loss, eventually stopped the fat-shaming insults. He had much more freedom now, but what pestered him about it was that the binging and purging, unlike the mere purging after meals, rather stalled his weight loss than enforced it. 

On one of the darker days, after he had just finished ridding himself of the four whole treacle tarts he had scarfed down and then limped back to his desk, his father made his ghastly way into the room. 

Lucius quickly opened his textbook to a random page and pretended to study, hoping he did not have undigested tart crust and bile still cascading down his face. A few blood vessels had ruptured in his eyes from all of the pressure, but he decided that it was not anything emergency-worthy to be dwelled upon. With a swift flick of his hand, Lucius adjusted his low ponytail, which was tied by a green-and-silver ribbon, just as his father strolled in. "Hello, Father," Lucius said flatly.

Abraxas looked down through his nose and peered around the room, looking as stern and calculating as ever. Thankfully, most things were made tidy, and nothing suspicious was misplaced or... err... spilled all over the floor. Then, the Malfoy patriarch walked closer to his son's study. Lucius frowned and tried to keep his attention on the text in front of him, but it was much easier said than done. Taking in his son's scrawny appearance, he smirked. "Ah, Lucius... I see you have taken my advice to heart..." Abraxas took a step closer to his son, who shivered in his seat. The drastic weight loss was the first thing that he had noticed about the younger Malfoy, and he seemed pleased. "I see that you do have the potential in you to change for the better. You don't want to become a fat pig after all, do you?" Abraxas stared into Lucius's dull silvery goblets.