Becoming a Mikaelson Phoenix series Book 1

Canis Lupus

I try to hide emotions, but they haunt my every day
I trust myself to not respond, when hurt gets in the way
The stress of being clinical, and trying not to care
Must have it's implications, but I can't be everywhere

Inside, my moods reflect the strain, my heart must feel it to
I wish I could forget it all, but feel it through and through
And when the thoughts invade my mind, explicit as they are
My feelings duplicate the hurt, like something from afar

So as each day approaches, I resolve to feel it less
My feelings are in turmoil, my emotions in distress
I need to be expressive, and let these feelings go
Because one day, in some odd way, they'll let my body know
-Phil Soar

♡

Life sucked. Especially when the life your living is not your own. I found myself growing more and more exhausted every day. No matter how hard I tried I just did not feel like I belonged here. Here I was, in a different world with that gave me ample opportunity to make a better life, but nothing felt any better. How much longer would I feel like this?

To many things needed to be changed in order to protect the people I had wanted to call family. Things that needed planning and help that I was too afraid to ask for, fearing they would get hurt.

Part of me wanted to forget it all. To run away. Lately I would dream about it. A better life I could have. A peaceful one. A loving one.

There would be a small cottage in the middle of absolutely nowhere. A garden of flowers and another one for fruits and vegetables. My only worries would be what I would pick for dinner, and if the foxes were playing in the flowers again. I would have friends over for lunch, that would tell me all the latest gossip, while we sat outside in the gardens.

And there would be a swing on the biggest tree, where I would watch the stars, hoping to catching one shoot by. And river behind the cottage that I would sit next to while reading a new book that caught my attention.

It would be quiet. I would be happy.

I craved for it all, but knew I could never have it. No one could. It was only a dream after all.

♡

While Freya settled in at the compound, Davina and Josh were helping me work on the spell to free the wolves from their curse. It was difficult considering the show never elaborated on how Celeste managed it. Tonight, was the full moon which meant we needed to figure it out now or wait another month.

Breaking the curse was not something that was on the top of my list, but Davina had said it was best to do it now while we had the time.

After scouring the grimoire, we were somewhat confident that I had all the necessary ingredients mixed together in the jar.

We were currently sitting on the old dock, my legs crossed in front of me, and a blanket wrapped around my shoulders, while Davina and Josh soaked up the sun.

"I have been looking everywhere for you guys!"

Rebekah stood behind us, her hands on her hips. Her face frozen in silent rage.

"Do you have any idea how worried everyone has been?"

We had left without telling anyone, wanting to give them the space they needed for a few hours. Technically I did tell one person. I sent a text to Klaus that we were going to help the wolves that he hated, and he could stay home to mope about it. He sent back a message of colorful words in response.