Spellbound

Chapter 12 - Ad Libitum

ad libitum - at choice, freely

Sister.

The word resounded in your mind, endlessly repeating itself in the silence. Thor looked at you desperately, craving any sort of confirmation. All he got was you shaking your head no.

"I-," you let the kamas fall out of your grip, them immediately zipping to your back. "I really think you have the wrong person." Cautiously taking a step back, you collided with Stephen, his arm around your back to keep you steady.

"I know this is very sudden, Meili, but I need you to come home, to come back to Asgard."

"This is my home," you responded. "I'm sorry, I really don't know who you are."

The only word you could use to describe Thor now was crestfallen. "You really don't remember me?" His question was more shock than anything, and you nodded. "Remember how we used to run around the halls of the castle, chasing each other, Mother chastising us for nearly breaking things? You don't remember how we'd practice fighting, and you'd always kick me and Loki's ass? Or how you'd always get me out of having to dance at the balls, and we'd go to the storeroom and get drunk?"

Thor paused for a moment, his gaze peering deep into your soul as if he were analyzing every aspect of your body, trying to find something that would confirm you were Meili.

You heard Stephen say your name, and you turned to look him in the eye. "I need you to tell me random aspects of your childhood; a street address, a pet name, your parent's name, anything."

You opened your mouth to respond, but you couldn't answer. You tried your hardest to come up with something, but your mind was blank. Your memory was dark, shapes moving with no discernible features.

"I don't know," your heart rate picked up, panic starting to overwhelm your brain. "Stephen, I don't remember anything!"

You were shaking, a panic attack beginning to take hold of you, your mind buzzing with questions that had no answers yet.

Why don't I remember anything?

What do I remember?

Is my entire existence on this planet fake?

"Hey, hey, hey, look at me, darling." Stephen cupped your face, bringing your attention to him. "Take a deep breath, focus on me." You followed Stephen's lead as he took a deep breath in, holding it for a few seconds, then slowly exhaling. Repeating the process a couple more times, you felt your heart rate start to slow down, but the thoughts were still going wild in your brain.

As if he could hear your thoughts, he kissed the top of your head, as if he could silence your brain. "I need you to hear me out, alright?"

"Okay," you whispered, and you let Stephen lead you to the library, nodding at Thor to follow. The god's heavy footsteps resonated through the Sanctum as you entered the library, settling into one of the chairs, Stephen to your right and Thor sort of to your left.

Stephen took your hand in his, giving it a squeeze as he began to talk.

"Do you remember the night when you broke down exhausted from the nightmares, and how I had cast the spell to connect our thoughts?"

When you nodded he continued to talk.

"I felt something strange in your mind like something was dampening your thoughts and memories, but it was nothing like I'd ever seen before. The magic was completely unknown to me, and I tried my hardest to try and undo it, but it had a death grip on you. I was able to get past a minuscule layer of it, and it was a memory from your childhood, with you running around chasing your brother..." Stephen trailed off for a second as if debating if he should continue.