I Still Want You, Shin Ryujin (19+ ITZY Chaeryeong POV)

Confessions From The Heart

10:32pm: Ryujin's House, Bedroom

As I laid in her bed, bare naked, with her arms around me, I felt a sense of security that I've never felt before, it was warm and safe. After a few rounds of intense sex drained me, exhausted to the point where I could fall asleep right in her arms. But I thought to myself, now is the perfect time to get to know her more, more importantly, what are we? 

Chaeryeong

Ryujin-ah...

Ryujin

Hmm?

Chaeryeong

I was just thinking... Wh- what uh... Never mind.

Ryujin

You can ask me anything. You must be curious about who I am.

Chaeryeong

Yeah... I mean I don't even have your phone number...

Ryujin (Chuckles)

I'm sorry about that, I'll save your number.

Ryujin handed over her phone, I noticed that the wallpaper on her phone, was another girl. And not just any girl, she was stunning, slender, model-like. Her face was small, but her eyes were like the size of the universe, shining. I felt displeased, thinking that I shouldn't have seen it. My hands were trembling, I couldn't explain what I felt, but it wasn't good. I typed my number halfway... and decided not to. 

Chaeryeong

I have to go. 

Ryujin

But your numb- 

Chaeryeong

I'm sorry, but Jisu is waiting for me. I'll see you tomorrow.

Ryujin

Sure, I'll let you o-

Chaeryeong

I'll let myself out. Thank you for tonight.

And left Ryujin alone on her bed, speechless. 

As I closed the door behind me, I fell down onto the ground, blaming myself. This is exactly what Jisu warned me, but I didn't listen. My face in my hands, tears flowed down uncontrollably... 

What did I get myself into? 

I don't know how to feel anymore, am I being pathetic? Falling in love with someone that you barely knew, getting jealous from a mere wallpaper, why am I like this? I hate this feeling. I channeled my anger onto Ryujin, since she was the one making me feel this way, there was never going to be a good ending falling for a playgirl, she has no right toying with my feelings like this... But it was my choice, I couldn't hold back my feelings and urge to be with her, so how could I blame her... I fell into a spiral of complications, I couldn't blame anyone but myself. 

I decided on that night, that I'll never talk to her again. It's the only way that I won't lose myself. 

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