Meap Me in St. Louis

Chapter 1: Crossing Over

AVALON

I get the man into my car as quickly as possible so that no one sees him, and we drive away. The man isn't actually our only "company"; along with him is a teal green platypus and a panda, both wearing fedoras for some reason. Even stranger, they are bipeds and just know to follow us into my car without any instruction or assistance. Brielle sits in the passenger's seat next to me, and our "guests" take the three backseats. I roll my windows up to make them harder to see.

"So, um, are we just gonna sit here and ignore traditional etiquette?" the man asks, sounding annoyed.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Y'know, introduce ourselves, get to know each other, standard stuff."

"Well, I'm Brielle, and this is Avalon," Brielle says.

"I'm Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz," the man says proudly. He gestures to the two animals sitting beside him and adds, "This is my nemesis, Perry the Platypus, and my ex-nemesis, Peter the Panda."

"Your... ex-nemesis?" I ask, weirded out.

"It's... a complicated relationship."

"So these are your nemeses... and you're travelling with them?" Brielle asks.

"Well, you see, I had stolen away to space to spend some time with Peter the Panda without Perry the Platypus knowing, and, uh... I guess they tipped him off about me being up there... so, he found out, and, uh... then Perry flew my ship to another ship, we broke in... and then we fell through a portal into whatever this place is."

As he goes on, I get more and more confused. Brielle whispers to me, "You think he's delusional? Maybe he hit his head really hard?"

"I don't know! Frankly, I don't even know if it's a smart idea to be engaging with them at all," I hiss.

"Hey! Just because you're talking quietly to each other doesn't mean I can't hear you!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz growls.

"You shut up!" I growl back.

That's when Brielle does something I would describe as crazy. She looks over her seat and asks Perry, "Is he really serious?" While I'm focusing on driving, I am able to see in the rearview mirror that, to my amazement, he nods in reply.

"Wait. He can understand us?" I ask.

"Yes, but he can't speak your language. It's weird, I know," Dr. Doofenshmirtz answers.

"Have we established why he's wearing a fedora?" Brielle asks.

"Oh, he's a secret agent." Dr. Doofenshmirtz replies. Then, in a quieter voice, he adds, "But don't tell anyone."

"And he's your nemesis?"

"Yeah. I'm an evil scientist."

The way he says it is so casual, I nearly miss the inclusion of the word "evil". I almost stop the car right then and there in the middle of the highway. For a second, I debate throwing him out of the vehicle. "You're evil?!" Brielle exclaims, looking just as concerned as I am.

He shrugs, chuckling sheepishly. "Well... I try to be. It, uh... doesn't always pan out so well... in fact, I don't think it ever has." Perry gives him what looks like a smirk, and Dr. D. rolls his eyes and snorts, "Hey, don't look at me like that, Mr. Top-Notch Secret Agent."

"Honestly, you look more like a pharmacist," Brielle remarks.

"Of course you think that," Dr. Doofenshmirtz sighs.

When we reach the hotel Brielle and I are staying at, I park us behind the hotel to reduce the possibility of being seen. Still, there's the problem of getting these guys into our hotel room without raising any eyebrows. If someone sees these cartoon-looking beings walking around with us, we're bound to be stopped and get asked tons of questions, and I just don't want to deal with that.