Meap Me in St. Louis

Prologue

UNIVERSE 252

—

Things have never looked more bleak for the Flynn-Fletcher children and their friends. Surrounded on all sides by an advancing army of entranced, cute intergalactic beings, their leader incapacitated, and their resources diminished, all while billions of miles away from Earth with zero backup coming for them.

"I think it may be safe to say that we are completely and utterly doomed here," Baljeet mutters, lowering his head in defeat.

Buford scratches his chin in contemplation. "Hmm... I'm having trouble deciding if I'd rather surrender and pledge my loyalty to these guys, or if I should just go up to them and start kicking."

"I told myself that going into space again was a bad idea," Candace mutters, shaking her head. "It's gone wrong one too many times. And yet, I let my urge for busting my brothers get in the way yet again. When will I learn my lesson?"

A diabolical snickering interrupts their lamenting. Outside the ring of cute guards that are only as tall as Candace's knees, their adversary, Mitch, slowly walks around them, sending a look of intimidation their way. In his hands, being held by his tiny little feet, is Meap, struggling to free himself from Mitch's grasp. While his squirming is mildly adorable, his peril has the rest of the team petrified.

"It's amazing how even the mightiest of heroes can fall," Mitch sneers, waving Meap around like a streamer. "One of the smartest, strongest agents in the galaxy, outsmarted and overpowered by my strength." He rips off Meap's mustache translator, tosses it into the furnace, then throws Meap aside and looks at the rest of his team. "And as if it couldn't get any better, he led all of his allies right into my trap! I feel like laughing evilly." He throws his hands in the air and lets out a loud, diabolical cackle. Lightning comes out of nowhere and one of the Meap soldiers plays a C diminished 7th chord on an organ that just happens to be in the room.

"Okay, I'm done now," he says once he finishes laughing.

With the team on their last leg, Phineas looks to Isabella. He gives her a firm nod and tells her, "Isabella? It's time."

Isabella, letting her infatuation for Phineas take over, reads this as a hint of confession and begins to say, "Oh, Phineas, I always knew you would–"

"No, no. I meant it's time to use our secret weapon."

"Oh." As per usual, Isabella does her best to hide the disappointment in her voice, then flicks her hair and mumbles, "I'm on it."

She walks to the front of the pack, her hair waving from the breeze that the ship's air conditioners let out. She twirls around in place, clasps her hands together in front of her, and with the biggest smile and wide-open eyes she can give, gives her favorite catchphrase: "Whatcha doin'?"

Mitch just stares at her, with a frown and crossed arms. He snarls, "You really thought that was going to work on me a second time, didn't you? How crazy of you! I don't work like that anymore." He reaches into his pocket to retrieve something.

"Isabella, get back here!" Phineas calls out.

His plea is just too late. Before Isabella can run back to them, Mitch has her trapped in a tractor beam. "Phineas! Help me!" she cries. Phineas, Candace, Buford, and Baljeet all run for her and get tripped by a group of Meap soldiers. By the time they've gotten back up, Isabella is within Mitch's grasp.

"Let her go, you freak!" Candace yells.

"You may have beaten me twice before, youngins," Mitch snickers, "but as they always say: third time's the charm."