Music Shorts

#3

Runaway - Aurora

I managed some sleeping pills today. I heard if one shallows 8-9 tablets of this, there's a huge possiblity of life crisis. I'm 19. At this age, normally people would be full of spirit and energy but I'm a loner, a loser. This age took everything from me. "Interest to live" - no I don't have this. I'm a loser and I lost it all.

People live for their dreams and aspirations. They have an aim for their survivals. For that, after facing many ebb and tides, rise and sink, ups and downs; they don't lose theirselves for those.
But when you lose the hope, the aim of life; nothing matters - whether you live or die; all thoughts and existances come useless.

Well, you often see man with no aim, right? They say that they are aimless, they lead a pointless life. Though their motive isn't truly pointless. Their point of life is to see: what happens next after this, how everything would turn, what's the next card God would play in their lives. They have curiosity of uncertainty.

I wasn't like those "pointless on-point" people. I did have a point. I had an complete aim to live on. But maybe for the creator's whim or maybe for my mistake. I lose everything and ended in such type of life where I have no control of my life.

I ended up becoming a prostitute, a betrayed person and a foolish-loser.
It maybe because of my mistake. I'm the only person to blame. No one did nothing to me that I fell in this trap. 'I can't complain.' I was so coward to face the world and still I'm that coward to face the world. That's why I'm thinking to end it up. But I'm coward to do this even. Giving lame excuse of 'soft place to fall'

From my teen, I was a freedom seeking person. I loved to live by my one. I tried to do everything by myself to prove I can live alone & independently. I need none and capable doing of everything I want. I was too confident that I'm always right and I do everything perfectly. I'm a good decision maker and I'm the superior of my life.
I was too fond of myself but ultimately I am thrown into a trash can as wastage.

I saw an advertisement of a travel agency. They were sending people to abroad in return of  few penny. I got excited of course. It's the way to enter into my dream life. I contacted with the agency. They had some formalities to fulfil. I did all and done as they had told. My passport and Visa all these would be collected by them. I trusted them. Why not? There were more people like me who were applying. But I forgot, "Majority is not the accuracy."

It was a human trafficking trap. They trafficked me to a unknown country to work me as a "sex worker". The whole circle was illegal. All the people who joined with me also got trapped. Now here you all work as sex workers. We spend our nights sometimes in a hotel or in a huge penthouse or a cheap motels, again sometimes in 5 star dwelling centers with different men. Every night I am used by different men and after they're done, they throw me away with a few bucks.

I wanted independence, freedom, self-ruled life but I got a life where I have to listen to the haughty otherwise I severe punishment would be waiting which isn't enough to finish me but can curl me up from head to toes.

I want to go home now. I miss my mom, my dad. I thought 'I was running far away' for better but now I ask 'would I ran off the world someday?' My dream, hopes and expectations - all '  vanished away from me hand'.  I have nothing now.

I try to finish myself but I'm not that brave to do so. As like today, I can prepare everything but ended up doing nothing. One thing got understood there's no way to get out of here.

I wish I could go back to my past and fix all thing but as I can't, 'I kept running for a soft place to fall.'

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Runaway by Aurora  is one of my favourite song. This song is quite philosophical. Each person has their own way to explain this song. I just tried to give meaning to this story from my perspective. Though I don't know why but I'm not satisfied with this chapter. I guess I'll revise it soon if I got time. I'll let you know if do so.
Thanks to my friend who has suggested me this song. She doesn't use wattpad thus I can't tag her.
Comment your favourite song 💕🌌🎶
Bye 👋