Pluralis Majestatis | Jeongchan

twenty

PHASE TWO

The purpose of reading is to gather knowledge, whether it's about what happens to the characters in a novel or about the world in general. Reading fluency refers to the speed and accuracy with which words are processed; which then calls for reading comprehension, the ability to comprehend what is being read.

Chan had always found himself reading when there's nothing else for him to do. Not particularly because he finds himself engrossed in a story but mainly because it challenges his mind when it wants to wander: he has to choose between letting his thoughts stray and understanding what he's reading.

Over time, he'd managed to develop his reading comprehension enough where he can still process what he's reading without properly focusing on the text. He can understand the plot even whilst he's plagued with thoughts of how, when, and why.

Some days, though, even his basic ability to read is tested. Today is one of those days, Chan realizes from where he's perched on his single bed, the corner of a page trapped between his thumb and forefinger as he focused on the way he rubbed on the rough texture of the paper instead of on the words printed on it. He had barely read three pages today and there was an even slimmer possibility that he had understood anything.

He struggles with the urge to tear the page off in a fit of rage. He can't be reprimanded for misconduct even if it is something as measly as vandalism or destruction of property or whatever the fuck it's called to destroy a book owned by the correctional facility.

Jeongin, Jeongin, Jeongin.

That's all Chan ever thinks about now. He was all Chan had ever thought about for more than a year now, but his thoughts have slightly changed its course this past month.

His days are colourless, monotonous, under careful watch in case he tries something. He's not planning anything. If this is where Jeongin wants him then he's staying for as long as he's supposed to. That doesn't mean his days have purpose. There's no purpose without Jeongin's voice, Jeongin's scent, Jeongin's touch overwhelming Chan's entire being. He's unruly, listless, a ticking time bomb that isn't going to go off anytime soon.

Jeongin. Jeongin. Jeongin.

Chan feels like the longer he's locked up, the closer he is to falling off the precipice of insanity.

Right now, he's powerlessㅡ something he had never felt in his whole life. Abandoned and deserted and handed off to the authorities like he was some party favour. He's drowning in his anger, growing even more furious by the day, the longer his questions remain unanswered and he's shut out from the world outside.

No word from Changbin, Minho, or Felix. Radio silence from anyone outside of the correctional facility and even when no news is good news, Chan felt like his head was being split open during the first days leading to his arrest and he had no idea what had happened to his delicate doll. Must be so afraid and so confused that Chan didn't come home, must have been so lost without Chan whispering in his ear about how everything was going to be alright, must have beenㅡ

He was wrong. Not even three days later, he got word that Jeongin was still standing tall and standing proud.

Which is the lesser evil, Chan quickly realized. He'd much rather have Jeongin taking everything from under his feet instead of Jeongin feeling isolated when Chan was taken away. He would have broken out otherwise.

Jeongin.

Jeongin.

Jeongin.

Oh, he can't even find it in himself to loathe the man that had sent him off. If anything, he's more impressed than he is insulted. Jeongin had managed to sway his most trusted subordinates' loyalty to him and turn his back on him.