I can't concentrate on anything Tori was saying for the rest of the meeting, all I can think about how my mother was now dead, dead because of me. It was all my fault and I was an awful daughter I shouldn't have been so selfish. I should have stayed and helped her. I should have...
"Calypso. Calypso!"
I looked up to see Tori staring down at me. I realised I haven't been listening and she probably knew that. If she had noticed my lack of interest, she didn't say anything.
"Follow me to your room now, I think you've had enough for one day."
I got up out of my chair at the map table and followed Tori out the room. The corridors we passed with made of the same concrete the ones previously, though I believe we were going in a different direction but I couldn't be sure. Everything looked the same around here. We continue to move towards whatever we were going feet making soft thumping noises on the solid concrete beneath us. Just as before I had no idea where we were going everything looks the same to me down here. Thank the gods Tori seem to have an idea of where we were.
After walking for about 5 minutes we reached the door that appeared to be different from the others; this one was brown and made of wood where the others have been steel. I looked down this part of the corridor to see many other doors like this one. The one we were in front of was about halfway down the underground tunnel. I looked at Tori.
"This will be your bedrooms for the duration of your stay here with us. We know what you have gone through and we hope that you will find some comfort here, among friends. No one here will hurt you unless provoked I have no reason to fear us. I realise our compound is rather large so here is a map to help you find your way. I will let you go get settled in now."
And with that Tori walked away down the corridor, not before placing a small, folded up bit of paper in my hands which I assumed was my map. I swear I will never understand these people and their brisk ways: all they do is tell you something and then leave no, explanation at all. It gets really frustrating after a while. Unsure what else to do I pushed open the wooden door and stepped into my room.
Inside was concrete like everything else, but there was a rug on the floor so you can take your shoes off and walk around without having cold feet. At the far end of the room resting in the middle all of the walls was a bed. It was not unlike the one I have been in earlier today in the hospital wing, it had a wrought iron bed frame with a springy mattress, thin duvet and small pillow resting on top. I guest comfort wasn't these people's main priority if this was what all the rooms looked like. I hope at least their food was better. The only other thing I remember about the map room was being told that somebody would come and collect me when it was time for dinner. Until then I guess it was just me and my thoughts. Brilliant.
They swirled through my head like a black, black storm. Corrupting everything else in my mind until the only thoughts that filled my head were the ones of my dead family. My father, shot because I had not been cautious enough. My mother dead because I was too selfish. All the voices in my head told me I was a terrible person and for once I agreed with them. Everyone I had loved, dead on my watch. They were right, I deserved everything that happened to me. I deserved to be chased, I deserved to be miserable, I deserved to die. All that and more should be mine. If there have been some sort of implement in that room to take my life, I would have used it. As it so happens, there wasn't. It was as though these people knew what I planed to do and counteracted it before it even happened. Whoever they are, they have brain power, I'll give them that. The people are not the nicest but you can't have everything. I suppose I should be grateful that they didn't kill me on sight like the government would have. In some aspects I guess I was a bit lucky.
I suddenly felt the fatigue of the day creep into my mind, worming its way through my brain shutting off areas bit-by-bit ready for sleep. Realise that I did need this, although my dreams and what I might find in them scared me. But I knew that I couldn't put off sleep any longer so I climbed onto the mattress and shut my eyes.
The seen the play doubt behind my eyelids was one I knew all too well. It was the fateful day that me and my father went out into the woods. The day he died. They my mother spoke her last words. I watched from the Shadows as young me ran down the stairs to my mother's arms. She had smelt the food cooking in the kitchen down below. I walk down the stairs behind her and down to the ground floor of my old house. In the kitchen, cooking the chicken ready for tonight's dinner, a chicken only two of us would eat. My father sat at the kitchen table watching my mother cook. My mother was humming the tune of 'lavender's blue' an old lullaby she used to sing to me. I joined in with her and so did my father. Seen our voices created a harmony that echoed through the whole kitchen, a sound that radiated happiness through the whole house. A sound I would do anything to hear again.
Lavender's blue, dilly dilly
Lavender's green.
When you are king, dilly dilly
I shall be queen.
Who told you so, dilly dilly
Who told you so.
T'was my own heart, dilly dilly
That told me so.
The three voices moulded together to create one seamless sound. It was beautiful. That beauty was tainted when I realised it was the last time I would ever hear my mother and father speak together again. A tear slowly rolled down my face as I listen the rest of the song.
Call up your friends, dilly dilly
Send them to work.
Some to the plough, dilly dilly
Some to the fork.
Some to the hay, dilly dilly
Some to cut corn.
Whilst you and I, dilly dilly
Keep ourselves warm.
I closed my eyes and swayed to the beat of the music, tears squeezed past my eyelids as I continued to listen while the music came to a close.
Lavender's blue, dilly dilly
Lavender's green.
When you are king, dilly dilly
I shall be queen.
Who told you so, dilly dilly
Who told you so.
T'was my own heart, dilly dilly
That told me so.
Young calypso ran over to my mother and gave her a hug. The other squeezed back, a smile lighting up her face. As the two let go of each other, my father came up from behind and scooped the young girl into his arms. She let out a high pitched giggle. My dad laughed as well, a low laugh I had forgotten, one that hid in the back of my memory.
" Come on Cal, let's go play hide and seek in the woods,"
Cal, the nickname floated through my mind and rolled off my young as I mouthed the letters, I had forgotten either of them ever used to call me that, neither of them had spoken my name in so long. Neither of them would ever speak my name again. My father walked out the door with the young girl sat on his back laughing her head off. Those were good times, my father had always been good at making me laugh. I wish he could still make me laugh. My mother chuckled to herself as the two walked out the door. The woman left alone in the kitchen smiled to herself and spoke aloud.
" Those two are crazy, but they're my crazies. I'm going to have this chicken ready for them to eat when they return from their adventures,"
With that she turned back to the stove to tend meat she has been cooking, I began to walk towards her, to touch her one last time, to tell her how much I loved her and how sorry I was for what had happened to her. I wanted to tell her everything I had never had the chance to. I had only taken 5 steps across the kitchen when suddenly it felt like I was being pulled backwards, like a vortex was sucking me in away from those I loved, I tried to cry out to get her to notice me, but she didn't, she would never notice me again after that day. Never, never, never.
I sat up in my bed, drenched in a cold sweat. It was only a dream, I told myself, only a dream. Tears rolled down my cheeks, salty water falls of my grief. I wish I could go back to being happy like I was in the memories, the memories of before when my family was happy, when my family was alive. The realisation punched me hard in the gut, the fact that I had seen my parents in a dream, the fact that that was the only way I would ever see them again.
YOU ARE READING
Outlaw
Adventure2. That moment when you realize you saw something that could cost you your life. Now all you can do is try and outrun them. I never thought there was a reason for my father's rule: Never cross the lake I never believed that a terrible secret that co...
