The 'Dragon Defender'

Assessment

"... Adriana?"

Adriana rolls onto her side to look over at me from her bed. Gothi wanted to keep Asher a little longer to be absolutely sure that none of his wounds would reopen, so he's staying another night at her hut until she gives him the okay. So that leaves Addie and I in our hut again.

"Can I... ask you something serious? And I don't want you sparing my feelings or anything, just the honest truth."

Adriana seems more somber as she sits up in bed. "Yeah, of course. What's wrong?" She asks, audibly concerned.

"I just..." I sigh slowly, trying to force the right words to come to me. "... I've killed a lot of people. But I had a strict moral code of it. I was always able to justify it to myself because I told myself that I was killing the 'bad guys', that they'd take more lives if I didn't take theirs. But... am I the 'bad guy'? Is there really no justification for that kind of thing?"

Adriana is silent for a minute, then walks over and sits beside me on my bed. My hands are clasped together in my lap. She sets her palm gently over the top of them.

"You don't have to have all the answers. Your own morality is yours to decide, but it's also yours to live with. There's always going to be people who think you're a good person and those who think you're a bad person. What you're doing is saving lives by taking lives, it's always going to be a grey area. So you just make sure you're making decisions that you can live with."

I nod slowly, looking to her as she continues. "But for the record, most dragons don't question killing so much, so long as they have cause. Humans are strange about it. They create all these technicalities where killing may be okay or may not be, but then they're also the only ones to kill without cause. Don't feel like you have to abide by human standards, if you don't want to."

"I'm still so unused to the whole 'dragon' thing," I chuckle flatly, trying in vain to lighten the mood slightly. "So weird to think I've been a dragon this whole time."

"Makes sense why you'd prefer dragons over humans, I suppose," Adriana smiles. "And how you survived on your own from such a young age. Did you think any human child could do that?"

"In my defence, I had no frame of reference."

Adriana laughs at this. "Of course. Of course. Either way, you don't have to worry about things now. What's done is done. Just focus on what isn't done with."

"Good call. Thanks, Addie."

"No problem. Now get some sleep, okay? Don't stay up worrying."

"I'll try. Night."

"Good night."

Adriana returns to her bed, so I lay down too. I can't sleep like this, though. She's right. I know she's right. What I'm comfortable with doesn't have to be justified or explained at every turn. I don't have to set a clear boundary for my own benefit and nobody else's. If I'm comfortable doing something, I don't have to find a way to articulate that.

And ignoring this, the problem with Hiccup is much bigger than me. He's already a threat to my pack considering he knows everything - Astrid and Valka are in that same boat, now that I think about it - and he's constantly trying to expose my family's pack. He's getting way too close to confirming that Morphwings can take human form. What if he begins to suspect one of us? And I know he wouldn't hurt anyone intentionally, but he could still inadvertently cause hurt.

But still, going as far as to kill him...

Astrid, Toothless and Valka - if not the entirety of Berk - would be after my head. And that would mean I'd have to kill them, too, if they became threats. They know where the Sanctuary is, so they'd definitely threaten the safety of the island and the pack, even if they don't try to do anything to the dragons. Not to mention that I'd become a formal enemy of Berk for killing their chief, which would mean I'd have no further access to trade or other assistance here. The nearest dragon-friendly island I can trade at isn't a reasonable distance away; a good two days of travel, not even including the return trip. It'd become a huge inconvenience for me to make myself such an enemy.

But if I called for Camo and Citrine...

I'd have to get Valka first. She'll know what's happening. It'll be best to catch her by surprise or in an otherwise dazed state. Maybe when she's sleeping. She can't have the reaction time necessary to recognise what's happening and keep herself from being hypnotised.

Hiccup and Astrid will be a simpler task. Should I erase the dragons' memories, too? No, that won't be necessary. They can't tell. And besides, should they ever go free from their riders, I'd like them to remember that we're open to them.

What about the rest of the riders? Do I make them forget everything, too?

I roll over in the bed, sighing softly. This is so much harder to plan out than I thought. There's so many factors to consider for the future. So many problems to plan for. This used to be so much easier when I just kept them at arm's length.

It's always the humans...

I shake my head, disappointed in myself. I got too close to the humans. I shouldn't have. It's compromised my ability to do my job. My hands form into fists. I won't let it happen again.

And that means I do need to cut out Hiccup, Valka, Astrid, the whole lot. I need to go back to when nobody on Berk knew me, back to when Valka had no affiliation with other humans in a way that would compromise me.

This just leaves all record of my presence on Berk, and all records of the Morphwings.

I need to get the Book of Dragons.