The 'Dragon Defender'

Love Takes Many Forms

(AN: So I just kept writing this scene and didn't realise how long it was until I'd finished and I couldn't find a place to cut it into two chapters that didn't read poorly without context from the second half so you get a double-length chapter today, though there's a long AN at the end to clarify a few things and also share something quite personal to me that I wanted you guys to know)

I close the door behind Plasma and sit down on the bed, after a few moments patting the spot next to me. He nods thankfully, the bed dipping with his weight as he takes a seat. "So what is it you wanted to talk about?" I prompt, wanting to get this talk over with. I'm done fretting about all this, even if I'm still not quite sure where I stand with Plasma.

"I just wanted to apologise to you."

"Apologise?" I echo, tilting my head to the side. I wasn't really expecting that. "For what?"

Plasma sighs, a hand rubbing his face in a tired manner before running through his dark hair. "For putting such pressure on you. When I got back to the caverns and heard you'd left for the Sanctuary, I thought I'd-"

"You have nothing to apologise for," I cut him off. "Being open about how you're feeling isn't a crime. I have to admit, I'm jealous of how easy you make it look."

"I hate to lie," Plasma shrugs, fidgeting with his fingers absentmindedly. "I know how I feel about you. But that doesn't make it some burden you have to bear."

"And it isn't," I assure him. "I'm just... confused. But I'm not upset with you. That's the one thing I'm sure of."

Plasma's shoulders slump, a soft breath escaping him. "Good... feel free to say no if this is a bit invasive, but... would you maybe like to talk about what's making you confused? I'm not trying to pressure you into anything."

I consider this for a moment, my right hand reaching behind my back to rub my arm. "... I don't know if I have the words... it's not just you I'm confused about. It's how I feel about love and those sorts of relationships in general, I suppose. I don't... I don't know if I feel anything different between those I care for. It's just that I know I care for them. I've never been in love. Not that way, at least. I guess it's supposed to feel different, but what makes that feeling different?"

"I don't know how to explain that," Plasma shakes his head. "But it does feel different. It does to me, at least. When I look at you, I feel... at home, I suppose. Comfortable. Warm."

"Is that an inherently romantic feeling?" I ask. "I don't think so," Plasma shakes his head. "Love is strange. It exists in many intensities and varieties, each just as valuable and unique as the last. It would be too limiting to say there was a form it couldn't take."

Plasma pauses for a moment, then slowly looks to me. "Although... it's perfectly okay not to feel certain types of love. It's not something you can force. And there's nothing wrong with feeling one type but not another, no matter how commonplace a certain type of love may be."

I nod, considering this. "I... I like that... I don't love people differently. It all feels the same. There may be different ways I express how I love certain people, but I don't feel anything different. Does that mean it's all the same type of love, or do different types of love feel the same?"

"I'm sure they can do," Plasma hums thoughtfully. "If you feel the same way, why do you express it differently?"

"I don't know... um, I suppose it's partly dependent on the relationship I have with them. What feels comfortable considering that."

Plasma nods approvingly at this. "That's a fair reason. I suppose you like having labels for these things?"

"I suppose I do," I agree. "I like being in control, I like knowing everything I can. So the idea of not knowing something about myself... I don't like that idea. So having a word to put to it and give it a definition... I guess it helps me feel a lot more in control."