The 'Dragon Defender'

A Confession

I morph back to human form upon landing, laying down on my back to admire the sky during our break. It's mostly clear out, with only a few thin clouds etched into the sky. Plasma lays next to me, still in dragon form, and rests his head on my stomach, making me chuckle.

"Comfortable?"

"You're not the worst pillow I've ever had."

I roll my eyes in amusement. Plasma chuckles to himself as he picks himself back up, morphing to human form. He sits beside me, propping himself up on his palms as he leans back to follow my gaze to the sky.

"Told you it was a beautiful day for it," he notes. "You did," I nod. "You were right. It's a lovely view."

I hear Plasma mumble something, though it's quiet enough that I don't quite catch it. Something about 'too easy'.

"So... what was it we were talking about?" Plasma asks me. "Before we landed, I mean."

"We were discussing mates and stuff," I shrug. "We can leave that if you'd prefer. I know it's a bit of a weird one to talk about as far as most people are concerned."

"I don't mind it," Plasma assures casually. "You said you weren't looking for anything. What kind of thing would make you change your mind about that?"

I look to him for a moment, then shrug again, sitting up. "Nothing I can think of. I've never put any thought into this kind of thing, I don't want to put anybody in danger."

"At this point, isn't that a bit redundant?" Plasma points out. "I mean, I can understand why you'd be so cautious, but at this point you've grown close to a lot of people, haven't you?"

"... I suppose you're right..." I have to agree with his logic here. "But that doesn't exactly reassure me."

"I'm not trying to worry you or anything," Plasma sets a hand on my shoulder. "I just want to understand where you're coming from. So... talk to me about this?"

I consider for a moment how to word things, plucking at blades of grass absentmindedly as I think. "... Well... I've never really put any thought into all this 'relationships' business on any level. Familial, platonic... more... but then I met Selene, and Asher and Melanite, and Adriana, and I realised that... I couldn't keep them away. And dragons with a human form? I guess I'm still wrapping my head around that. Heh."

"That's fair enough," Plasma nods solemnly. "It must've been so hard for you to find out that your entire life you weren't what you thought you were."

"I liked finding out that I'm not human," I hum. "But I guess that doesn't mean it wasn't still a lot to process. And just because I settled into the new routine doesn't mean it's all really... over."

"That's completely fair," Plasma assures. "You're allowed all the time you need to adjust. But you seem to be wanting to keep your family in your life."

"I do," I confirm. "I really care for them all. And I wouldn't want to leave you and Adriana, either."

"Is that why you made the commitment to training some of the pack?" Plasma asks, causing me to blink. "What?"

"It's just, I thought you were staying just until Asher was alright, but you kept going when he was okay," Plasma explains. "I didn't mean anything by it. I was just wondering."

"I just want to make sure the Morphwings can protect themselves," I answer, though I'm frowning beneath my mask as I consider this now. Okay, staying with my family was certainly a bonus, but did it actually sway my decision?

As if reading my thoughts, Plasma pats my shoulder reassuringly. "Hey, there's nothing wrong with it. Not every action you take needs to be justified or rationalised. And you certainly never need an excuse to be wherever you'd prefer to be. Your pack or mine, you're always welcome."

"Thank you."

"Of course."

I look up to the clouds again, enjoying how they drift across the pale blue sky with the light breeze. The sun peeks out from behind one of the clouds again, bathing the world in warmth.

I notice out of the corner of my eye that Plasma is still looking at me, to I turn back to him expectantly. He runs his hand through his hair, glancing away momentarily at having been caught.

"So we've covered familial and platonic. What about the 'more'?"

"What about the 'more'?" I chuckle. "Are you trying to ask me out or something?"

"Mm... what if I am?"

I pause at this, looking at him properly. His small, slightly nervous smile. The warm hue in his eyes that until now I had assumed was caused by the sunlight. The way he's running his fingers through his soot-coloured hair again, as he always does when he feels awkward or anxious.

"Indigo..." he continues when he realises I don't have any words or actions to respond with. "I'm not expecting anything to come of this and I don't want you to feel forced into anything. If you don't want a relationship like that, just tell me and we can go on like nothing happened. I don't want to make you uncomfortable in any way."

My mouth opens, then closes. The words just aren't coming to me. Why can't I answer him? I should be telling him no, I'm not interested in dating anyone, I'm not going to risk him, I'm not going to get attached to such an extent.

So why does the word feel so cold and cruel and...?

Do I like Plasma? Do I really like him in that way? Clearly I haven't been the best judge, since I didn't realise Plasma liked me. Adriana thought he liked me. She knew all along. How did I not know? I thought I was good at reading people, or at least good enough. I guess I'm not.

A hand gently cupping my cheek snaps me out of my thoughts.