Wherever you are || crb

eighteen

We get on the bus early the morning after we perform Perth. We had a thirty-seven hour drive to Melbourne.

We were going to cooped up on the bus for most of the day and tomorrow too. At least we have a couple days to rest.

I haven't told anyone about the songs Colby sent me. Hell, I don't even know what to say to Colby.

I feel bad for leaving him on read, I just don't have a response. Today, the four of us are watching Star Wars movies.

We're gonna watch the prequels first, and the originals from the eighties. We all got comfortable in the back so we could watch.

Jesse and I were sitting next to each other, and we were really close. I didn't mind honestly.

I've been thinking about what Levi said about Jesse liking me. And I honestly don't know.

Either Levi was just pranking me or he's really good at hiding it. It just sucks cause Jesse's a great guy.

And he's attractive so he can have any girl he wants. I just don't want to make the wrong impression of him thinking I like him.

I'd feel so shitty if I accidentally led him on. I just see him as a brother or a really good friend.

We just vibe off of each other so much, it's hard to not be around him. We have a strong bond, so he's not leaving my life right now.

Jesse starts the movie so I look at the tv to watch. Even though I don't like syfy that much, I was going to give it the benefit of the doubt.

As we watched the first one, it seemed interesting. When it showed Darth Maul towards the end, the music got good.

I can see the hype. We all made small commentary as we watched it. Once that was over, we all turned on the second one.

To be honest, the second one wasn't my favorite one so far. I did like the whole part where they were fighting in the Coliseum.

I think it was probably the coolest scene and part of the whole second one.

The third one was honestly my favorite one in the trilogy. Anakin was super attractive and I liked watching him turn evil.

"I think Cassie was drooling during the whole third movie." Maya laughed when the movie finished.

I just roll my eyes while I adjust myself on the couch. "I can't help myself, were you watching the movie?" I jokingly ask.

"I swear, I think she's into the bad boys." Levi joked a little bit. I just shrug knowing it was a little true.

I mean, I liked Ethan because he was mysterious. Even though Colby was super sweet, there was a bad boy type to him too.

"I can't help I'm into those guys." I shrug towards them. Jesse cleared his throat and shifted in his seat.

I glance over at Levi to see he was already looking at me. He just gave me a look that I somehow understood.

He was thinking back to the conversation we had about Jesse having feelings for me.

I haven't talked to Jesse about it at all. I don't want to make things awkward since we're basically living together.

Plus, I think it'll be better naturally than feeling forced. We watch the Star Wars movies for most of the day.

We didn't have anything better to do since we were cooped up on the bus.

We ended up getting a hotel so we could catch some sleep there, which I'm grateful for.

We spent the most of the day on the road. We don't get to Melbourne until six pm.

Since we had tomorrow off too, we were all going to the beach.

That night, we went to eat at a restaurant, which was really good. We all got up early so we could go to get to the beach.

I had on a black bikini that I think will look good. I put jean shorts on over it and a Hawaiian dad shirt.

Maya braided my hair for me, which I was very thankful for. "I love your hair, Cassie." She complimented me.

She put a hair tie at the bottom so it wouldn't fall out. "Thanks, but I want your hair." I do love Maya's hair.

It's shoulder length but it's super cute. We spend the next couple of minutes complimenting each other.

I'm so happy to have her with me for the tour. If I didn't have her and I was stuck with the boys, I would lose my mind.

We meet the boys in the lobby so we can head to the beach. Our hotel is right on it so we have a short walk.

When we get there, we find a spot and lay all of our things down. "Did we bring the sunscreen?" Jesse asked.

Levi tossed it to him so he can spray it on. Jesse took his shirt off, revealing his chest.

He wasn't a horrible looking guy. He didn't have washboard abs, but he did have a decent body.

That's what happens when you're on tour for a year. I look back up at his face to see him already looking at me.

He had a small smile on his face. I don't like how he caught me looking at him. I don't want to accidentally lead him on.

But I also shouldn't have looked. My thoughts are so jumbled, I feel like screaming.

I just wish I had someone to rant to. I know that I have the three here, but I don't want to bother them with my shit.

And there's my friends back home, but they've missed so much, I don't know how to explain everything.

I just inhale deeply, trying to remain calm so I can have a good time here. Maya started playing music on her speaker.

Jesse asked if anyone needed sunscreen so I grabbed it. I can't be getting my white ass burnt.

The boys went out to the ocean while us girls laid out. We laid there in silence for a little bit, soaking up the sun.

It was pretty warm, so it felt honestly amazing. "Are you happy to be back home in Australia?" I ask Maya making conversation.

She nodded her head while turning to me. "I love America, don't get me wrong. Australia's my home though." She told me.

I nodded my head in understatement. "How are you doing?" She asked randomly. I fake a smile towards her.

"I've been fine." I lie to her. She looked at me like she knew I was lying. "You know you can talk to me, Cass."

She's right. We've been on tour for months. I don't know why I'm holding everything in.

I sigh and explain exactly how I'm feeling. I tell her how I miss Colby and I still have feelings for him.

I tell her how he sent me three songs explaining three different things and how I cried when I listened to them.

I then explain to her the conversation I had with Levi about how Jesse has feelings for me and that's why Colby freaked out.

It honestly felt good explaining everything. Maybe it'll be good to have a girls thought on it.

She was quiet while I explained. I've felt so paralyzed recently, I'm ready to get back to my normal self.

I feel lost and it kills me. When I get done explaining, she took everything in and thought about it.

"One, Jesse does have feelings for you. I've known it since the first leg." She spoke.

She thought again. "It's a lot to take in, but you should definitely talk to Colby whenever we get back."

She also tells me how if he sent me those songs, he still has feelings for me too. "You should talk to Jesse though."

I look over at him to see him and Levi were throwing a football. I do need to talk to Jesse though.

But not until I talk to Colby first. Colby has my heart, no matter where I am or what I'm doing.

He's my soulmate.